I get into a lot of discussions with people over spiritual things. Most of the time you only have to be awake to experience something "spiritual." I’ve always believed that the most spiritual things we can experience are on a person to person level. The human mind can do incredible things, and simply the way we read and interact with one another tells the story that we are all connected.
I was having a particularly rough week. The stress of not sleeping and having constant panic attacks was taking a major toll on my mind and my body. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t even drink much of anything. My stomach was such a wreck. I was happy that it was Friday, and excited to eat leftover Chinese food for lunch, get out of work and sleep. Alas, I grabbed the wrong container from the fridge, and opened my lunch bag to find a leaking container of peaches. Great. I’m starving and trying to save money so I can quit my job that’s sucking the life out of me, and now I had to go spend money on lunch.
I walked to the store, at least I had a credit card and could buy lunch for myself. I got a sandwich and some chocolate milk to try and chase the blues away, thinking that I’d sit outside instead of eating my lunch at my cramped up desk like I do every day. I sit down and the seat is WET. By this time, I’m about to scream. I’m in pain, I don’t feel well, and now it looks like I have wet my pants. A car screeches around the corner, and it feels like a knife has gone through my ear drums. Now I’m holding back tears.
As I walk down the street grumbling to myself, a woman who is sitting on the wall, presumably waiting for the bus, says to me very sincerely, “How are you?” I smiled, looked at her and said, “I’m alright, how are you?” “I’m good,” she smiled.
Then I had something to cry about.
I looked up at the sky, then back at the woman. She was my angel for the day. Some would say things like this happen by “chance” or “luck,” but all the science experiments in the world would have a hard time proving that on this random day, this random woman could turn my crappy day around not knowing anything about me. She could have just been nice. She could have been crazy, and said it to everyone she met walking down the street, but for that moment I felt like I mattered, and her gesture mattered a whole lot to me in those moments of unlucky despair.