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Sometimes saying goodbye is permanent

My boys mean the world to me. I hope I will be able to help if they need me!
My boys mean the world to me. I hope I will be able to help if they need me!
Melissa L. Stoneburner

We must ask ourselves, ‘As parents, can we do everything to take life’s troubles away from our kids? How can we prevent them from any pain that they may have to experience?’

As long as we try, that is all we can do. As women and men we embrace parenthood with enthusiasm and grace. As we look into the eyes of our baby, we never suspect that there may be hidden emotions buried deep down amidst all the wonderment and adoration that is reflected back from the curious eyes.

Many times it is not until we are in the throes of an emotional outburst that we would even suspect that there is a hidden agenda sprouting in the brain of our teens. If we did suspect, we would likely hold on too tight and cause the bottom of the agenda to reach the top. We would also never allow our teens to reach out and hopefully be able to figure out how to solve the mystery that eludes them. Sometimes the mystery is solved and life goes on, but other times it remains, builds and then bursts open; revealing the darkest side life has to offer.

Suicide has never really been discussed in the open. To many people, especially those with deep religious beliefs, suicide is embarrassing. We don’t talk about it and it will go away.

Well, what happens to those parents that do their best to be parents, never suspecting that the hidden agenda is building to fatal levels until the worst factor hits number one? What then? Where can they turn if not to friends and other family members?

For people that truly do not understand depression, it would be easy to miss (guilty as accused). As a parent, if you miss it and it is too late, you want an explanation. You can’t keep going through the list of questions that keep echoing in your mind or it will drive you insane. You have to seek help – it is your only salvation in this life of questions with no answers.

Many people will not know what to say but sometimes silence can give suffering parents the greatest answers. Just being a leaning post is the answer that some really need.

The one thing to remember is that you did what a great parent does, you were there for your child, you provided for them, you supported them, you encouraged them. There was just something else that caused distress. It is not your fault for if you never said goodbye, goodbye may have become permanent anyway!