Once upon a time, the parental debate centered on to spank or not to spank. However, with the advent of more social media opportunities as well as knowledge about using social media channels, some parents have turned to social media shaming or "public shaming" as a discipline tool.
The most recent example of parental public shaming is a rant by one mother having caught her daughter and her friends in a blatant lie, as well as indulging in some really risky behavior. As a result, mom placed her daughter's One Direction concert tickets on sale, beginning at $1.00 and provided a rather detailed explanation why she and her friends were loosing out on this opportunity. While in this case there may be some anonymity, not all public shaming parenting techniques are quite so "subtle."
One North Carolina Dad returns his daughters Facebook rant about how horrible her life is with one of his own. However, he didn't stop there. He loaded up his recording camera and his gun and video taped much of his conversation as well as his method for stopping her social media sharing of their private life by shooting her computer to death.
Another parent reportedly made her daughter wear a sign saying she disrespected her parents, at a busy intersection. The offense? This 11 yr. old girl apparently "twerked" at a school dance.
Other public shaming episode involved a sign saying "I'm a bully" while still another says "Honk if you think I'm Dumb" after the child received 5 F's.
This "best dad ever" struts his stuff in a pair of "daisy dukes" in protest of his daughter's lack of modesty in dress and then posted the pictures and events on his wife's blog.
But is public shaming and social media sharing of these punishments the modern day "belt?" Some experts have listed the the cons of using shaming as a parenting tool, and now they are using the same reasons to discredit public shaming and social media sharing and shaming as a discipline technique.
Dr. Howard Hall, a clinical psychologist told American Now News "I would feel so much sympathy for the child, and I would feel sympathy for the frustration of the parent."
Most would, as children take to social media to shame their parents too, complaining of being grounded, no help with homework and having being made to work like a slave because they have chores and responsibilities. To some it may seem that this is the only way to reach their child.
One expert tells Time, “Unequivocally, it’s a bad thing to do and certainly has negative long term consequences,” says Dr. Claudia Gold, who runs the early childhood social and emotional health program at Newton Wellesley hospital in Massachusetts.
She continues, parents tend to trigger a sense of despair and a feeling that they are already immutably damaged. Instead, parents can establish structure and enforce rules by using predictable and proportionate consequences for breaking those rules. Most important, mom and dad should explain why such behavior is inappropriate and by discussing these issues, model the type of mutually respectful relationships they want their children to have.
Other experts cite depression, more negative behaviors, anxiety and long lasting damaging effects.
Is social media sharing and/or public shaming an effective discipline tool? Or should it be like Dr. Hall recommends and against the law?