The "Twilight" parodies and snarky reviews are coming at a furious pace.
We're obviously fans of snarky commentary here at the Comedy Examiner's Office-- it's out stock in trade. And if there's one thing besides snarky commentary that we can't get enough of, it's snarky commentary directed at "Twilight", the self-serious vampire saga that just refuses to poke any fun at itself. And how are critics responding to "Twilight: New Moon"? With snarky commentary. This is gonna be good, my gentle Examiner readers...
We didn't expect "Twilight: New Moon" to win any Oscars, but we are surprised to see so many snarky little jabs being thrown the movie's way: seems like everyone's getting on the "Let's dogpile 'Twilight'" bandwagon. Here's a roundup of some of the snarkier reviews (from our friends at Film Drunk) that the new "Twilight" film has received:
Director Chris Weitz proves that “The Golden Compass” was no fluke: He really is a non-master of action. -NY Post
Bella is, as established by these films, almost wholly unlikable on every level. She’s selfish. Sullen. She has no interest in anyone else unless it’s this sort of lightning-flash-all-or-nothing romantic interest. The entire character feels like it’s underwritten so completely almost on purpose, like doing that will leave room for the target audience of teenage girls to project themselves into the fantasy without any messy character development to get in the way. -HitFix
This character Weitz is a little bit of a hack, and his movie is worse [than the first one]. Bella: probably the most boring and bland protagonist in any franchise I’ve ever seen. You know why the vampires can’t read her thoughts? Because there are no thoughts! She’s boring as hell! -UGO
“The Twilight
Saga : New Moon” takes the tepid achievement of “Twilight” (1988), guts it, and leaves it for undead [That's wordplay, motherf-cker! Ebert represent! -Ed.]. You know you’re in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead. Obviously the characters all have. Long opening stretches of this film make utterly no sense unless you walk in knowing the first film, and hopefully both Stephanie Meyer novels, by heart. Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other and thinking, So, here we are again. - Roger Ebert
Yikes. Critics aren't being so kind to the new "Twilight" film, are they? While this will certainly come as no surprise and/or comfort to fans of the series, for fans of sarcasm, this is all really enjoyable. We've had some run-in's with "Twilight" fans before and have determined that their senses of humor are a little underdeveloped, so for the "Twilight" fans out there: these critics are just jealous because Edward's so hot.
Just for posterity, let's check out that SNL "Twilight" parody video one more time:
Stay tuned for more (this week has turned into some sort of unofficial "bash 'Twilight'" week, it seems like, what with all the parodies we've been getting/running lately) from the Comedy Examiner, and check out these other recent articles while you're waiting on the next bit of "Twilight"-related shenanigans:
"Conan O'Brien takes on "Twilight" with hilarious results (with shirtless video)"-- in which we look at yet another "Twilight" parody, this one from Conan O'Brien's "The Tonight Show". Click the link, watch the clip! It's funny, we swear.
"FORBES names Will Ferrell, Eddie Murphy two of "the most overpaid actors" in Hollywood"-- in which we look at the Forbes list (should that be all-capitals?) that named two down and out comics on their "most overpaid" list. You mean "Meet Dave" and "Land of The Lost" weren't hits? What?!
"South Park" takes on minorities, public urination, and waterparks in its 13th season finale (with video)"-- in which we review the "South Park" season finale and offer up video of one of the most gleefully offensive songs in the series' history. Click the link, feel your jaw drop.
"Eddie Murphy's next film? "The Misadventures of Fluffy" (you read that right)"-- in which we learn what project Eddie Murphy's lined up and you'll be avoiding probably next summer. Click the link for your warning.
(photo: simplytwilight.com)
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