New Year's Day tends to inspire goal-making for the masses. While fitness and financial goals likely top the list, but what about sex? Seem to be a perfect time to improve a sex life, explore something new, or be completely open about who are or how we identify (assuming it's a safe space in which to divulge this information).
The best advice to goal creation is to make them SMART goals: Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. The first known use of the SMART terminology dates as far back as 1981, used by George T. Doran in an issue of Management Review, but it still remains the most concise way to set realistic goals that you actually have a chance of achieving.
Specific goals are just that: specific. Let's say your goal is to have better sex in general. Better how? What kind of sex? With whom? Measurable would make that goal tell you how often you're taking steps to reach that goal. It helps us mark progress. Perhaps you'd like to have better sex, however you defined that, twice a week. Great, there's your unit of measure. Next, the goal must be attainable. Saying that you want to have predefined better sex twice a week with Angelina Jolie is likely not attainable unless you're Brad Pitt. Relevant goals are similar to attainable goals- they're relevant to you and only you. You are not Brad Pitt, you are you. The goals don't have to make sense to anyone else but you. Get cozy with your goals, make them very personal so that you're motivated to actually work towards your goal. Lastly, they must be timely. Set a timeline for this goal achievement. Resolutions generally tend to have a built in timeline of the full year, but it's more likely that you will achieve your goals if you check in with them every month, adjust them as needed so that they are SMART for you.
So, you have your sex goal created, it's SMART, so why are you still sitting at your computer? Happy New Year and New Sex to you!