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Slushee season upon us

Liquid dessert
Liquid dessert
slushee-usa.com

From Nashville, TN to Azure, Montana (population 253), Americans have just passed the summer solstice, the calendar advent of everyone's favorite season. For most of us, summer started about four or five weeks ago when we saw our A/C bill and began sweating at night. Another sure indicator of the warm months is the indoctrinating barrage of slushess, slurpees, iced cocoachinos, and an elaborate, expanding market of 'cold stuff to stick in your mouth'.

While such opportunities should be seized, you will need guidance to navigate the treacherous pathways of cool liquid refreshment. Allow me to take you on this journey. Before embarking, I should warn you that the voyage is not for summer baskers. You know the type: bony, dry-skinned, and typically old. Those whose core body temperature would remain at medically alarming lows while wearing a sweater seated atop a heater. These individuals relish the heat, and work on thawing out their bones on cloudless August days in Arizona.

I also feel compelled to dispel the common myth that you can drink your way to fitness. There is an ingrained fallacy that liquids are 'lightweight, harmless' means to satisfy hunger. In reality they are ruthless, seditious calorie tigers waiting to pounce. Smoothie King's pockets are not the only thing that gets fatter on the strength of this deception.

Now let's address our average Joe American who cares little for his expanding waistline, and who routinely saturates the couches of air conditioned homes with back sweat. Where should he seek satisfaction? Smoothie specific places are excellent, but Sonic, McDonald's, Dairy Queen, and 7-11 should be included.

Check out another good deal you can get at Sonic

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