With less than two weeks to Valentine’s Day—V.D.—many couples await the 14th in a dewy haze of ardor; visions of bonbons, roses and sonnets sweet enough to make you vomit puppy dogs and rainbows dance along lovers’ psyches.
For many others, February 14th brings the holiday known as S.A.D.—Singles Awareness Day. If you’re feeling lovelorn this Valentine’s Day, don’t fret! We at Baltimore Dating Examiner have combed through Twitter to find the best anti-Valentine’s Day tweets for your viewing pleasure. Then, on the actual holiday, go paint the town red with some friends and live up the single life!
“Wait, women don’t like love handles? Now what am I supposed to give my wife for Valentine’s Day?” – @JimGaffigan
“Valentine’s Day and Black History Month are sad reminders of how lonely and white I am. #GingerProblems.” - @GingerProblems
“February: It’s the only month you can compensate for your bitter Valentine’s Day disappointment by binging on pancakes.” - @stuheritage
“Reminder – Valentine’s Day is only a couple weeks away. It’s not too late to break up.” - @TheRealTheoD
“All these ‘aphrodisiac’ Valentine’s Day menu posts crack me up. A baloney sandwich is an aphrodisiac if enough wine is around.” - @foodwishes
“I just accidentally misread ‘Valentine’s Day’ as ‘Vampire Day’. And then I realized my mistake. VERY DISAPPOINTING.” - @jenlynnbarnes
“Want to really take her breath away this Valentine’s Day? Hire Nicolas Cage to hide in her closet.” - @hipstermermaid
“It’s February!...which means Valentine’s Day is in two weeks…which means I need to find a cliff to drive off immediately.” - @SororityProblem
“My girlfriend wants something with lots of diamonds for Valentine’s Day. She is going to love this deck of cards!” - @TheRealCTucker
For more anti-Valentine tweets, view the slideshow at the upper left corner of this article. Also, follow me @traytraytweets on Twitter and send me your funniest tweet for the holiday with the hashtag #ValentinesDay.
Find the perfect date spot in Baltimore!
An article from CBS Baltimore offers up great ideas for the perfect first date. Made Manual also offers a list of the 10 Best First Date Restaurants in Baltimore. Want to peruse other activities in the area? Visit Baltimore.org for information on everything the Maryland city has to offer.
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