It is time to address something that has been happening in the dating world for many years in Vancouver. Vancouver singles are always discussing the lack of interaction between men & women in this beautiful city. It is exasperating to watch this “non event” happen at many establishments visited throughout the course of the evening. It gives the haunting reminder of Grade 8 dances with boys on one side of the room & girls on the other.
So what is the problem ladies & gentlemen? Why is there limited conversation or acknowledgement towards each other?
The first thing men talk about is how women in Vancouver are stuck up, materialist, or just plain unapproachable! They would like to see a woman pull out her wallet once in awhile or at least reach for it. The women complain that there are no available men, that all they are looking for is sex & that all the good men are taken or Gay. Where is this judgmental attitude coming from?
Is from the fear of commitment or not believing they deserve a loving relationship? By pushing away every available opportunity people don’t have to deal with the rejection that they fear may eventually happen anyway. It is a very defeatist attitude and a sad way to live life by sabotaging a potential relationship. Everyone deserves love in their lives but people have to understand that they are worthy of it & welcome it into their world. Negativity & insecurity destroys happiness in all forms.
Why Is It So Hard To Meet Someone & What Are So Many Single Men & Women Doing Wrong?
• Ladies go out in large groups, so men feel intimidated to approach them.
• Women like to sit in booths which mean there is a limited pathway that allows men access to converse with them. (no escape route if things don’t go well)
• Men sit with their backs to the room on a bar stool which signifies they are closed off.
• Women are quick to label a man with what he is wearing & who he hangs out with.
• Women "expect" to have a drink bought for them if a man connects with them.
• If there is a conversation, the questions begin with: “what do you do for work?” or “why are you single?” This puts both sexes on the defensive.
• Men wait until they are leaving to say hi or smile at a woman they are attracted to.
• Eye contact & conversation finally comes after a big dose of liquid courage much later in the evening.
• Men use sarcasm to get a women’s attention. ( the reminded scenario of boys pulling a girls ponytail to get noticed in elementary school)
How Do We Correct This Behavior?
1) Who you are socializing with & how they are perceived by others? Are they rude or standoffish and ruining your chance to meet someone? Guilty by association happens more often than people realize. How are you perceived in a social setting?
2) Regardless of whether you are male or female do not be afraid to make the first contact. A smile, a hello on your way to the washroom, or “cheers” with your glass says you are open to conversation. It gives people the “OK” that you are receptive to go to the next step.
3) Be courteous to the people around you including the servers as this will be observed by others in the room. (I always watched people’s behavior when I was single as it told me a lot about their character!) If someone talks to you, acknowledge them in a friendly manner regardless of whether they are your type or not.
4) Dress appropriately & unpretentious but to suit your personality. If you are a spitfire, wear something bright & flirty and if you are conservative, dress that way. You want to attract someone fitting to who you are, so that you are compatible should there be a connection. (Opposites attract but they seldom stay together)
5) Make your seating location & body language open & receptive to others in the room.
6) If you have trouble meeting people due to low self esteem, try talking to a dating coach or matchmaker. in Vancouver to help you through these barriers.
7) Don’t blow someone off because you can’t see yourself marrying them. They may have another purpose in your life. They could become a good friend or business associate. Networking comes in all forms of communication ~ nothing is a coincidence. Enjoy it for the moment!
If you dress like a "Cougar" you will attract predators & if you dress like a "Player" you will attract high maintenance/gold digger women.
People need to recharge their positive thinking when looking for a potential partner. Next time you go out on the town, change your thinking by using this thought process: “I am going to have fun & talk to men/women tonight. I am not afraid to have love in my life & not all men/women are unavailable or unapproachable. There is someone for everyone & I am worthy of a wonderful long term relationship & I am ready to recieve it!”
You may not meet someone right away as it takes time to change the patterns of yesterday. Write out a list of changes you want to make towards finding a wonderful partnership & read this on a daily basis, especially before you go out. Make out another list on what you want in a partner. (It should include a variety of characteristics, not just material objects.) Read it every night before you go to bed to keep the positive thoughts flowing when your mind is relaxed. You really can have what you want in your life, you just have to believe you deserve it & practice good Karma to receive it.
You must "give to receive" and show gratitude to find the ultimate happiness in your life.
Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers
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