With any luck the recently single will be resolved to handle the end of a relationship as well as they possibly can. They should read these tips, study them, and apply them in their own life. The end of love is a terrible thing, but no one should compound the tragedy by harboring hatred.
Don't hate the ex. Easier said than done. Negative feelings--hate, anger, resentment, and so on--won't hurt the ex anywhere nearly as much as they can hurt our recently single subject. Hate is an emotional cancer. It can twist and grow within anyone. Through the breakup the newly single has been challenged to instead try and remember what was good about the ex and to try and nurture positive feelings. Well, all right, neutral feelings are also fine. The point is to not fall into the mire of hate. If the newly single can raise their feelings, they can lift the outlook on the whole situation.
Honesty should be rule number one, no matter what. Even when standing on the precipice of a failing relationship, never start spouting lies in a desperate attempt at reconciliation. If the broken hearted feels the need to lie, they're lying to themselves that the relationship can be saved. Anyone angry and hurting shouldn't shut it away. They need to tell the other person exactly how they feel.
Always try talking through any problems. Reconciling differences is achieving a triumph. If this is impossible, perhaps it's time to be moving along. Either way, don't let a communications breakdown blur the truth.
Never take the sum total of previous bad experiences and project them onto current partners. Whatever hell a person may have been through in the past with other people, those people are not the current significant other. Never put whatever blame issues that may exist onto their shoulders. This is not fair to them and will only keep the individual locked in a dark past.
Words and promises really are like the wind until there is action to back them up--or prove them false. It's easy to promise to change, but much harder to actually follow through with it. In a desperate situation, a significant other may swear up and down that they will alter their behavior if they could only give them one more chance. How likely is that change? Don't fall for it.
A loved one can never change another person, so they shouldn't think they can fix their partner. They must find the strength to change inside themselves. Offer support and love, but otherwise it's up to that other person. If change is necessary and the partner lacks the will, maybe it's time to leave.
No relationship is ever a waste a time. It's true. Even the horrible ones teach something--about ourselves, about other people, about life and living.
Relationships are work, and are worth every bit of effort. Love is not easy. No one ever said it was supposed to be. But it is another example of we get out of love what we put into love. Sure, we may get into fights and hurt sensitive feelings. But the challenge of love is not to avoid conflicts, but rather to resolve them in the best possible way.
Whatever the outcome, no relationship is ever a failure. Relationships are like obstacle courses. We're meant to meet the challenges and keep moving forward, no matter how long it takes us or how awkward we might be. However a relationship ends, that experience can still enrich life.
Keep something else in mind too. No relationship ever really ends. Everyone we encounter in life will stay with us, somehow and in some way. Remember the good things!
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