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Simon Cowell fathered baby with friend's wife? If he helps animals, do I care?

Needy, available dog at Animal Rescue Kefalonia (ARK), in Greece
Katerina Lorenzatos Makris

Today I discovered something about myself that’s a little disturbing. Apparently, I’m willing to forgive people almost any sin as long as they’re good to animals.

Is this wise? Probably not.

This all came up because of TV talent show bigwig Simon Cowell’s bun in the oven—that is to say, the fetus he has reportedly fathered, with the mother of the soon-to-be-baby being a woman who is married, and even more interestingly, married to one of his friends.

Call me prudish, but come on, am I the only one whose hair this sort of thing makes stand on end? Whose eyes are caused to roll? Whose skin feels as if it suddenly needs a good hot shower?

Yes he’s a grown man and she’s a grown woman and they are entitled to do what they please in their respective or shared bedrooms, and yet… what can I say? It is kind of icky, no?

However, there I was reading the article, feeling totally icked out, wishing this particular pair hadn’t felt it necessary to procreate (I mean, how will they explain all this some day to Simon Jr. or little Miss Simone?), when suddenly I remembered something. Simon Cowell sticks up for animals.

"Right now, there are no international laws to protect animals and The World Society for the Protection of Animals [WSPA] is working to change that,” he said at one point. “They are calling on governments across the world to embrace a common agreement called the Universal Declaration on Animal Welfare. This would recognise that animals can suffer and feel pain and need proper protection.”

I’m not sure what came of that effort, or of efforts he’s made on behalf of other animal welfare groups, but I like it that he points out animals' suffering and pain and need for protection.

So as I read that and more things about his interest in helping animals, the ickyness started to fizzle a bit. Slowly, gratitude began to take its place.

This dude Simon Cowell is really rich. Presumably, he has to give some of that wealth away for tax purposes and so forth. He seems to like animals. He seems to want to help them. Maybe he gives some of that leftover dough to them.

He’s really famous, too, and a lot of people listen when he talks. Maybe they’ll listen when he sticks up for animals.

Does knocking up one’s friend’s wife just come with the territory of being rich and famous and… sort of… high-strung, which I guess you might say about Mr. Cowell?

I don’t know. All I know is that if he is coveting his friend’s wife—or going well beyond the coveting phase, as he seems to have done in this case—I do hope it gives him so much delirious joy that his heart and pockets turn themselves inside out on behalf of animal causes.

I'm still wondering, is this wise of me? To be so tolerant, so forgiving of Mr. Cowell and other animal lovers who perhaps ought to exercise more impulse control? I doubt it.

But considering what most animals face every day across the planet, I feel we need all hands on deck to help them—even those whose hands might need a really good scrub.