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Silence is not golden when it comes to money issues in marriage

Husband stressed about finances.
Husband stressed about finances.
Cover of one of my books created by Progressive Graphics

When couples get married they say vows committing to each other for better or worse, for richer or for poorer. However, when financial issues stress a relationship silence has a way of becoming the language of the marriage. Either the husband or the wife has reached a place of where they believe it is better if they do not say a word about their financial situation. When the husband and wife become silent, a lot of assumptions are made instead of communicating openly what the issues are.

Silence becoming the normal means of communicating leads to further money mistakes. People are becoming mind readers and the money manager is faced with making decisions based on what they believe should happen. There are times when the money manager finds out after the fact, this is not what the spouse would have agreed to but the damage has already been done. This puts both the husband and the wife in a no win situation if they are not communicating verbally about finances.

Oftentimes when husbands and wives are silent with each other about their financial unhappiness, they are unloading on a co-worker or dear friend about their level of frustration, ideas that could solve the situation in order to have an outlet. The problem with is the co-worker or dear friend does not live in their house; therefore, they are not in a position to make things change or begin solving financial problems for that husband or wife.

To begin resolving and removing the silence, the husband and wife should apologize to each other for letting their financial stress drive them to behave out of character. After the apology, they should sit down and begin openly and honestly discussing what their financial challenges are and devising a plan to get their finances in order. This is one of those instances where ACTIONS speak louder than words. Husband and wife will have to make sure their actions are matching their words and not communicating a different message by his or her non-verbals.