Why is it that when people get sick, they are on their worst behavior? I am curious. Hey, everyone knows that being sick is painful, smelly, messy etc. But when did it become ok to take out your frustrations on the people that are trying to care of you?
A good friend of mine turns into a COMPLETE tyrant when he gets sick. He snaps at his kids, constantly complains to his wife about everything she does (it’s just never exactly the way he wants it) and basically wants to make sure that everyone around him is as miserable as he is until he’s fully recovered.
A good relationship is always going to be work – simple fact of life here! Yet when we are sick it is as if all bets are off, and a completely different level of (bad) behavior becomes acceptable. I’d think the exact opposite would be the case! I would hope that if I take really good care of someone who loves me, when it is my turn to catch that miserable flu bug, they are going to take really good care of me in return. If I do, and they don’t – there’s gonna be some ‘splainin to do, Lucy…
I was at a bar in Boson years ago one cold, rainy, miserable evening and watched two very young, very attractive women progress though the course of that night. One of them was already not having a good night when they arrived. Several hours of getting hit on by drunk college boys and a whole bunch of alcohol didn’t improve the long-haired-girl’s demeanor. I’d seen her friend become less and less enchanted with her friend’s behavior over the course of the evening. Suddenly the long-haired-girl drags her friend out into the pouring rain to puke her guts out. The friend dutifully held her friend’s hair back until drunk girl said that final-straw biting remark. I don’t know what it was, but the short-haired girl dropped two luscious handfuls of yard-long blond tresses into the muck and mire of the gutter, hailed a cab and in literally 10 seconds was GONE! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to be the next one to puke…
I would imagine the next phone call between these women would have been priceless to hear. But honestly, what did she expect was going to happen? If you continually berate someone, chances are at some point they will have had ENOUGH. The only real question is time. In other words, you’re GOING to kill what you have. The only question is when. Is this really any way to live in a relationship?
For 2014, how about taking a step back and looking at YOUR behavior in your relationships from THEIR perspective. Would you actually be proud of your behavior? Another great litmus test I’ve mentioned before is this; if your young daughter’s boyfriend just said to her what came out of your mouth, how would you instruct her to handle it? Or would you be hunting for your shotgun to go shoot you in the squishy twins?
The way people behave when they are sick is a pretty accurate predictor of their behavior at their worst. I’ve met women that I really wished I had seen sick before wasting months on a relationship. I’m not insinuating that you go out and poison your potential dates to see how they react! But especially early on in a relationship this can be a very good insight into a whole range of aspects of their character. Pay attention to the clues and use that information to guide your life. Who knew a cold could be so informative?
Happy New Year everyone!