Looking for a way to funny up Valentine’s Day this February? Well, Matthew Inman of The Oatmeal has unveiled a new collection of Horrible Cards to help you express your love—or at the very least lukewarm attraction—to the person lucky enough to be called your girlfriend/boyfriend/person-you’re-kind-of-seeing-right-now-and-by-seeing-I-mean-sleeping-with.
Titillating tidbits
Want a few examples of the type of poetry the paramours at The Oatmeal have created to make your sweetie swoon? The selection of greeting cards includes such admissions of amour that run the gamut of:
· “I like you so much…I’d dragon kick a baby for you.”
· “In a sea of chest hair, a man’s nipples can help you find his nipples in the dark…Don’t fear my nipples. Let them guide you.”
· “They say that when you fall in love, it feels like a songbird is serenading your soul with a warm, familiar melody…But for me, it always felt like riding a cruise missile covered in jiggling boners.”
Unless your heart is made out of two twigs, a spit ball and two pieces of shop tape, I don’t know how you could read such sonnets and not start shopping for engagement rings the next day.
Details
You may order one card for five dollars or save 20 – 50% by ordering a four pack for 16 dollars, a six pack for 18 dollars or a 12 pack for 30 dollars. The Oatmeal will ship anywhere and accepts Visa, Mastercard, Paypal and Google Checkout. Card dimensions are 7” x 5” and envelopes are included in delivery.
Browse the side-splitting collection and learn more information by visiting The Oatmeal’s Horrible Cards page here.
Find the perfect date spot in Baltimore!
An article from CBS Baltimoreoffers up great ideas for the perfect first date. Made Manual also offers a list of the 10 Best First Date Restaurants in Baltimore. Want to peruse other activities in the area? Visit Baltimore.orgfor information on everything the Maryland city has to offer.
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