So the dates to meet up for a drink or hang out just to watch the game have led to something more. Maybe the things that split the two of you up are not "irreconcilable differences," and remembering what you had before has you wanting to give things another try. The blind dates and hookups have led you back to where you started - and it's looking good.
“My problem is I keep going back to the same kind of guy,” laments Emily, 25, of Skokie. “I need to get the physical stuff out of my head and just focus on my emotional needs. At the same time, there is something about what’s familiar.”
There is comfort in the familiar, as you already have a history together; however, consider the following before you reconnect.
The good, the bad, the ugly: There is a reason why you broke up. While people change, the things that caused tension in your relationship before could still exist, including different work schedules and financial habits. If it was a small argument or misunderstanding, this is something that can be resolved. Deal-breakers? “I can’t go back to infidelity,” says Matt, 27, of Naperville.
Is this positive growth? If you felt as if you were held back in making decisions before, including friendships, career or education - this is a no go. However, if your ex was supportive and emotionally available, maybe stoking an old flame is the way to go.
How supportive are they? A good partner should be supportive and long-wearing – sounds like your favorite bra, doesn’t it? But you do need a partner who will be there for the long haul and who will encourage you as you grow, career-wise and as an individual. If the relationship felt one-sided before, consider finding a partner who is better able to support your emotional needs.
If the pros outweigh the cons and both of you want to give the relationship another try, go for it and enjoy the chance to revisit the good times together.
If not, take this breakup time to really take a break and relax, re-evaluate your own needs and spend quality time with the girls.
Want to jump back into dating? Check out a speed-dating event or try online personals.
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