The three date rule…while no one knows who made up this dating “rule”, just about everyone has heard of it. “When dating, if you are on the 3rd date with someone, it is then that the woman “should” consent to bringing it all the way to the highest level of physical intimacy and sleep with the guy”. This brings up a lot of questions. Do we follow this? Should we? Do men or women still think about this “rule” when date #3 comes around? If the female doesn’t follow this “rule”, does it mean that she’s not interested in the guy? Will a guy feel rejected if the 3 date rule isn’t followed?
Okay, let’s dive into this head on. No one even knows who made up this “rule” but we do know that it’s been around since at least the 60’s. According to an official poll of over 5 thousand singles asking which date sex is to be expected, the majority of them don’t follow this rule. 34% wait for 4 dates or more and coming in second, almost 25% think that date #2 is the time to jump into bed. Only 21% believe the rule is accurate.
What does this tell us? Well, it seems that the majority of daters don’t listen to or expect the “rule” to be followed. It also tells us that plenty of daters have sex sooner than the rule tells us to.
While for some daters it is just fine to be intimate extremely early in the budding relationship, it should noted that one may want to really think about what this means.
Three dates does not equal a relationship. Three dates means that you just beginning to know who the other person is. Countless important questions haven’t been asked or answered and countless issues haven’t been discovered. Let’s say that a typical date last 4 hours…By the end of date 3 you’ve known the other person for 12 hours. That’s less than 1 waking day…should a woman be expected to give her body to someone that she has known for less than 1 waking day? And should a man expect her to do this? The above mentioned poll does show us that the majority of daters don’t expect this, however 21% do.
If both a man and woman together decide that they simply want sex, all the power to them to have sex on date 1, 2 or 3. However for those who are looking for a serious relationship the following should be given some thought. Ladies: It does not matter what he says to you, if you sleep with him too early he will think that you sleep with EVERY guy you date just as early. Really, no matter what you say and even if you’re telling the truth! You can say “I can’t believe we just did that, I never do that!” or the ever popular “I always wait, but I feel such an incredible connection toward you!” … he is not going to feel complimented... if you sleep with him on date 3, he’s going to think that you sleep with every guy on date 3. And if you’re an active dater…well, that equals quite a few bed partners…not a turn on for most guys who are looking for someone to be serious about. And if you’re wondering why he slept with you or came on so strong if he was looking for something serious…it’s because many men have to at least try…some are not going to turn down sex with someone that they find attractive. There's nothing wrong with that, humans (especially men) are normal for wanting sex with an attractive partner.
Having sex to early often turns the focus of dates to sex and takes the focus off the important part of getting to know each other. Once the sex pointer has been turned to “on” , it’s not easy to turn it back to “off”. If you’re in bed every date, how are you to get to know each other in the way you would want to know about a potential long term (or lifelong) partner.
So, with this part discussed, think about what you want…and if you do want a serious, long term relationship… if so, take the 3 date rule and throw it away with other folklore and myths. If you want to read about how to decline sex while keeping things hot, read on.
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