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Short list on being a reprehensible conservative

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"don't hate me because you want to be me." --Kim Kardashian

I can't speak for all of us but since I am one of them I will speak for myself and offer a list of why it is conservatism makes me an awful person. You can measure this by the things I like.

Japan's annual Dolphin Hunt:

This looks like fun, I want to go. Dolphins have to be really tricky prey though. But what makes it a hunt when it isn't just another day of fishing? Do they use hook and lines or perhaps they employ (I hope) harpoons like they do with whales? That ought to wipe the smile off their faces. Hate em!

Arctic Vortex:

I like the sound of that. Especially in the age of "warming". "Rising sea levels" in the liberal Armageddon talk is due to melting polar ice caps far far away in places where these vortexes come from. The last vortex occurred right at the very time when a group of "scientists" went to the south pole to study melting polar caps and got stuck when the ocean under them froze unexpectedly. All the world skippers and all the world ice-breakers couldn't free their ship back to voyage again. So they used a helicopter leaving their filthy carbon footprints in the worlds most vulnerable spot. Liberals have such an awful sense of public relations in this area.

President of the United States of America:

Gee, you mean Obama? Don't we hate this guy (not because of him mind you, but because of his race since he's a swell guy that can do no wrong)? On the contrary. I can tell you why liberalism leads to destitution but there is nothing better than the "teachable moment" of experience even if the moment lasts five years and counting. Obama is the best recruiter of fresh conservatives since guns were invented.

Vice President of the United States of America, the Clinton's, John Kerry, MSNBC especially Chris Mathews:

Just kidding. But there has to be something I like in this bunch, I don't know, maybe between all of them I'd say Ketchup.

Football:

Very violent and competitive. People get hurt and in all cases it's a union member.

Walmart:

Not that I like it but I like it enough to buy socks or party bags of Doritos. What I love about it is that liberals hate it. Of all the things to hate but a place where the poor and working poor get good deals on children's clothing and baby formula. Liberals couldn't be so monstrously wrong headed on this one.

American Exceptionalism:

We invented everything. No, everything. Even in "decline" days we're giving the world social networks, tabs and smart phones. Just those three alone puts the rest of the world to shame in the invention department, okay American output in "decline" the last twenty years versus the rest of the world in inventions that make our lives better? No comparison. But liberals hate the idea that we're special and paint a bleak picture of American history. I can only counter with one word: electricity.

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