I came home from a trip to Boston for my brother's graduation, to find a very stiff envelope in my mail. The sender's address was simply stated, "The White House, Washington DC," in raised gold block letters. My name and address was handwritten in fancy curlicues of ink. Inside was a thick ivory card with the raised gold presidential seal on top, of a proud eagle encircled with 50 tiny gold stars, stating:
The President and Mrs. Obama, request the pleasure of your company, at a reception in celebration of LGBT Pride Month, to be held at The White House on Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 4:30 o'clock.
So first, I went into shock, and then I got very excited, and then I got very nervous. How would I get there? Where would I stay? What would I wear? What would I say, if I got the chance?
How did this happen, you wonder? Two years ago there were complaints on the BiNetUSA email list that the White House was having a Pride reception and no representatives of the bi community had been invited. I suggested that, rather than complain on email lists, BiNetUSA should get proactive and contact the White House with a list of bi people they should invite. Apparently, they took my suggestion, because respected bi and marriage activist Robyn Ochs wound up going with her wife, Peg Prebble. Last year, Bi Resource Center president Ellyn Ruthstrom, then Bi NetUSA board member (now the president) Faith Cheltenham and bi activist Billy Jones from DC were invited.
This year, without any prompting from the bi community, a White House liaison contacted Robyn, asking her to provide a list of bi activists they could invite to their 2011 Pride reception. Robyn, who was away from home and her full contact list, reached out to other bi activists, asking for help to put a list together and asking us if we wanted to go. I tossed my hat in the ring; but I didn’t expect to be picked. In fact, I put a NY bi male activist forward, saying I thought it was important to send a guy, since people are always questioning whether bi men exist.
So with all the distinguished names on the list of bi activists, I expected to be passed over. My invitation wasn’t one hundred percent out of the blue, but I was pretty darn surprised. It was a nice boost for me because, although I was very proud and happy for him, I was feeling like my younger brother had just totally passed me by. He just got his master’s in business management, is about to kick his career into high gear with this new degree (he already has a good paying job) and has a wonderful woman who is dying to marry him. My major achievement this year was to finally get designated disabled by the federal government, which pays about as well as being on welfare, since I never made a lot of money before my disability.
Okay, so I also got a grant for Bi Lines IV: A Celebration of Bisexual Writing in Reading, Music and Culture and successfully organized that event (which got fantastic reviews from the audience and participants), helped judge a book award, ran the Bi Writers Association, co-led Bi Women of All Colors, moderated a bunch of bi email lists and wrote this column for another year. But I'm never getting my master’s, or a fantastic, well-paid career (only a volunteer one, since I'm too disabled to hold down a job) and probably not getting married, since I haven’t even dated anyone in so many years I'm not even sure how many...6? 8? (Being disabled can be a bitch, don’t expect me to be one of those "inspiring" disabled people they write books about.) But I do try to make a positive contribution by writing, educating, being an armchair activist and organizing cultural events... things I can do, thanks to the internet, without leaving the house, in my nightgown, taking breaks to lie down in between emails, article paragraphs and phone calls.
However, being invited to meet the president is definitely something unique and special that all my volunteer work has achieved. But I'd like to share it with you. After all, I'm there representing the bi community, not myself. I'm bringing a camera and plan to take lots of photos of my trip to share. And I'll be sharing the details with you on my column.
I heard through the bisexual grapevine that also attending will be former BiNetUSA president and co-editor of classic bi book Bi Any Other Name, Lani Ka’ahumanu, as well as the founder of the Bi Social Network website, Adrienne Williams. I also hear that Lani is bringing San Francisco bi activist Kuwaza Imara (hope I'm spelling this correctly!), adding another bi male to the picture.
Invitees may bring a guest, so I'm taking my activist colleague Paul Nocera, who is the primary organizer of BiRequest, a very popular bi discussion and social group in New York City, which has grown exponentially since he took over primary leadership. He is also an avid LGBT rights activist who volunteers lots of time to phonebanking when LGBT rights are at stake. He also helps organize arts events like Bi Lines and FIGMENT. Since we're always hearing that "bi men dont exist," I thought it would be a good idea to bring some evidence to the contrary.
I'll be updating you with more articles about my trip. In the meantime, if you have any advice about what I should say to the President when I get to Washington, please post a comment below!
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