My Examiner colleagues Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade cover the Denver Sex & Romance beat and also run the Oysters & Chocolate erotica website and publishing empire. This month Quiver Books published their first work of non-fiction, unraveling much of the myth and mystery surrounding the male beast.
The title -- Mastering Your Man From Head To Head: How to work your man below the belt, between the ears, and beneath the sheets for exceptional sex -- is a mouthful, and LaRousse and Sade can help you there, too (see Chapter 3: How to give a breathtaking blow job). But their most important piece of advice is a simpler and sexier way to put your mouth (and his) to work: All men are different--Communication is your #1 ally.
"We were polling a large group of women about proper technique, and every single lady had a different tip. It was a bit overwhelming, until we realized that they were all saying the same thing: Ask him!"
The authors asked around quite a bit, first with their own partners and then by polling their fans at OystersAndChocolate.com, and, finally, with a series of personal interviews with many men and women, including a panel of experts comprised of urologist Dr. Emmey Ripoll, M.D.; sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., MS.Ed.; sociologist Glenda Walden, Ph.D., and clinical sexologist Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS. The result is the most informative -- and funniest -- guide to the male mystique and physique I've seen in two years of reviewing Sexy Books.
Some of this is stuff you've heard before but bears repeating: For example, the majority of men in the Mastering Your Man From Head to Head report an erect penis size of 6 inches (that's slightly bigger than the previously reported average of 5.25 and 5.5 inches, but then again, this is male self-reporting we're talking about, which, the authors point out, may explain that extra inch), and most of the women surveyed said that average is just about right by them. "So, does size matter? Yes, it does," said one respondent. "Middle-sized, that's the thing--not too big and not too small. As long as he knows what he's doing, then Mr. Average is, for me, Mr. Perfect."
It helps for their partners to know what we're doing, too, and that's where the rest of the book comes in. After some girl-talk on how to cozy up to a penis and some testicles, LaRousse and Sade proceed to more advanced advice on oral sex, hand jobs, prostate massage, and male sexual organs many of us may have been neglectin: Just about everything on your man is a sexual organ, according the authors, and they'll help you put your man's eyes, ears, nose, nipples, feet, belly button, and butt into play.
They also give a good rundown of silicone-based, water-based, and oil- and petroleum-based lubricants, sex toys for boys, and tools for prostate massage, which is sexier than it sounds once you know how to go about it.
I like the later chapters best:
Chapter 8, His libido: Understanding your hornball gets in-depth on the male sex drive, sex function, and solar cycle ("A study conducted by S.J. Winters et al. at the University of Pittsburgh determined that men's testosterone levels are highest in the morning and lowest in the evening, higher in the fall and lower in the spring," report the authors. "So anytime your guys starts acting like a grumpy pants, you can reach over, pat him on the back, and ask, 'Oh honey, is it that time of the day again?'")
Chapter 9, His brain on sex: Porn, religion, and taboos starts with a critical but sex-positive discussion of pornography and its effects, then moves into dealing with cultural, societal, and religious taboos around anal sex, cunnilingus, fellatio, the age old Madonna/Whore complex, sex guilt, sex before marriage, etc.
Chapter 10, His inner beast: Bring out the sexual side of your man presumes your man needs more bringing out than most men I've encountered, but still offers some good tips for communicating with his wild side, buttering him up, and letting him know what turns you on.
And Chapter 11, The Kinkster explains what to do once you've succeeded on each of those fronts. "When you do lure your sexual beast out into the open, you may have your hands full," note the authors, in what may be the understatement of the year. They remind their gentle readers that fantasy feeds desire, talk about "unusually common fetishes and fantasies" (35 percent of the men in their survey had experience with BDSM; 15 percent had experience with swinging, 10 percent had experience with foot fetishes, another 10 percent had experience with "water sports", and 5 percent had experience with cross-dressing).
For more on Mastering Your Man From Head To Head, check out my interview with Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade in Denver's Westword: I caught up with them earlier this month before their book release party.
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