The New Year is your reset button for life. It’s a time when you commit to changing something specific about yourself. Some view it as a necessary time of sacrifice, but change doesn’t have to be without pleasure. Trojan Condoms, one of the largest supporters of pleasure, conducted a survey that found 33% of Americans claim to be dissatisfied with their sex life, with 81% looking to make their sex life more interesting. This past year, however, a University of Scranton survey found that the top three New Year’s resolutions were to lose weight, get organized, and save more. Sex wasn’t even in the top ten!
Sex resolutions can also improve health. Men’s Health Magazine reviewed 10 health benefits of sex that include improved immune system, lower risk of cardiovascular disease, lower stress levels, and a 50 % lower mortality rate.
Resolve to make your sex life more interesting and satisfying with the following 5 steps:
- Explore. Sexual satisfaction begins with self-education. Research sexuality through books, magazines, workshops, the internet, therapists and perform your own personal physical explorations.
- Accept. Your sexual desires and experiences form your sexual identity. Accepting your desires (and learning how to pursue them) is an important step toward experiencing greater sexual satisfaction.
- Communicate. Sex can be a sensitive topic, but honest communication is important towards becoming sexually satisfied. To avoid negativity and defensiveness, introduce conversations about sex in non-sexual situations, prepare for them in advance, and speak in “I” statements and avoid “you” statements.
- Openness. Remember that others are pursuing their own sexual resolutions. Demonstrating acceptance of other’s desires can help them on their personal journeys and may even lead you to find out more about your own.
- Patience. Exploring, accepting, and communicating your sexuality takes time and is an ongoing process. Be honest and positive about your journey to partners and yourself, and you will continually work towards greater sexual satisfaction.
All too often, we can expect sex, dating, and relationships to just work with little to no effort. Formal resolution or not, success is directly related to effort. If you’re interested in resolving to focus on pleasure and health, make the commitment and effort to work on your sexual satisfaction this year.
Sexuality is one of the ways that we become enlightened, actually, because it leads us to self-knowledge. -Alice Walker
Benjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, is a freelance writer and a private relationship-and-social-dynamics coach in the areas of public health, fitness, and social dynamics, a writer and editor for Ask Men.com, and the interpersonal relationships columnist for examiner.com. His passion lies in guiding and providing tools to men for overall self-improvement. His debut men's self-help guide, The Essentials, is now available on Amazon.com (The Essentials by Benjamin Ritter).
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*Edited by Rachel Ritter