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Sex post-hysterectomy

Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

“In the largest study of its kind ever conducted, researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine have concluded that contrary to popular belief, the sex life of most women improves dramatically following hysterectomy.”

God bless the bright and accurate researches from the University of Maryland’s School of Medicine!

I’ve been waiting to write this article for 11 months and 22-1/2 days. It's been nearly one year since my full hysterectomy. In this time, I’d gone through enough batteries to suspect that my libido remained intact. Now, with a blindingly gushing smile, I can state with certainty that you can – in fact—take a gal’s lady parts, but her libido’s here to stay.

Troy captivated me with his humble yet gorgeous demeanor. When we first chatted at The Down Low, I admired his resemblance to a Latin Clark Gable, or Carey Grant, or one of those other film noir hotties. By the third date, I'd gathered all of the field research I needed for this article.

Always previously insistent on the condom, I didn’t give Trojans a thought. It’s relieving to not fear pregnancy, and I had reason to trust that Troy wouldn’t share any STDs with me. Neither of us had had sex in over one year, and he’s gone through hurdles of medical clearances for his job. So, while it was my first post-hysterectomy sex, it was also my first condom-free sex.

Condom-less sex provides nice, natural sensations. On the down side, though, his manhood didn’t slide into me with the savvy of a penis suffocated by latex. Then again, Troy is rather well endowed and I’m rather small. However, since I’m being so blunt, and only two people read these articles (I love the two of you, by the way!), I’ll share that natural lubrication has never been an issue for me. An ocean or large lake oozed from my southland regions. The intercourse pinched a bit, but he successfully completed the mission: he got it up and in. This, by a man in his mid-fifties, left us both feeling victorious.

“It was the best two minutes of my life,” Troy joked, as he strolled with me to my car the next morning. Thing is, he wasn’t joking. Troy’s drive and testosterone levels are fading.

Our second encounter lasted about four minutes. “I’ll double the staying power each time,” he promised. Were Troy not going overseas in a matter of days, I’d suggest the little blue pill. Our fling was short lived, though, so I didn’t raise the issue at hand.

The man did orgasm, and he drove me en route to one. [I haven’t been able to orgasm during intercourse. Not ever. Not yet.] I suppose that “almost” having an orgasm is like getting a spare instead of a strike, or securing Park Place instead of Boardwalk, or being serenaded by a wrinkly obtuse Elvis impersonator instead of the real thing.

Regardless, Troy held me through the night, treated me with respect and playfulness, and charmed me with his down-to-earth warmth.

Of me, he said “Girlfriend, you have a big libido. I’m kind of intimidated by you.” Given he’s twice my size, this statement goes a long way to prove that post-hysterectomy sex can be just as good or even better than pre-hysterectomy sex.

Ladies, enjoy your womanliness with or without a uterus. Meanwhile, I'm anxiously anticipating an eight minuter.

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