The baby boomers are finally at the door step of becoming old timers and that brings with it lots of concerns, not the least of which is, “Am I over the hill sexually?” The fact is the human animal normally should be sexually active to the day it dies. Note the word normally. It means that if you are not sexually active it is not the norm. Up until a few years ago most of folks thought it normal for sex to become less and less important after the age of 50 or 60. That’s because no one asked the people who were over the ages of 50 or 60. But now that more people are living to be 70, 80, 90, and 100, we are starting to notice and ask. Research with the elderly shows quite clearly that sex is as important as ever; and quite frequently and happily more fun than ever. We should all be delighted to find that out because it gives us lots to look forward to. It also means that if you are not keeping up with the older Jones’s you should be checking it out. Remember, the norm is that you should be getting it and enjoying it for a long time to come, and if you aren’t you should be questioning why not. In the great majority of cases what ever is stopping you can be remedied. Sex in the Golden Years is great and you should be staying sexually active for the rest of your life, and continue to be active and happy participants in nature’s greatest gift. If the good Lord didn’t want us to do it, He wouldn’t have made it feel so good! In fact, sex should improve with time. The frequency of sexual relations may diminish a bit, but the interest in sex continues and for those fortunate enough to have a partner, activity continues with increased pleasure and quality, often into the eighth and ninth decades. So why has this been kept such a secret for all these years? First of all couples haven’t so often lived into their 80s and 90s as in the past two decades. Men died off in their 60s and their widows lived on by themselves and didn’t talk about their desires, urges and needs. Our Victorian backgrounds didn’t allow us to ponder such things. Too often older women with such lusty thoughts would have considered themselves perverted, weird, horrible and immoral ... wouldn’t dare talk to other “normal” friends and acquaintances about those thoughts and feelings. Of course it was alright to be a widower with ideas. They were considered endearingly as “dirty old men,” and no one really took them seriously ... just someone reliving his past ... not earnest in his quips and innuendos. But now that we see people living healthy active lives even to 100 and more years, we are beginning to see a very different picture. Those retirement villages are swinging places. Even in nursing homes one of the major problems is what to do about patients who want to act out their daydreams, fulfill their needs. To deny these people their needs would be wrong and cruel. A very common refrain, of elderly couples is, “We might not do it as often, but we’re a lot closer and enjoy it more than ever.” But let’s look at the other side of the coin. The Journal of the American Medical Association in 1999 reported that 4 out of 10 women and 3 out of 10 men claimed some form of sexual dysfunction. The Kinsey Institute stated that 26% of all women in their studies complained of sexual problems and dissatisfaction. The vast majority of women in their studies never reached orgasm through intercourse alone. Saddest of all, 40 million Americans are in sexless marriages; that’s somewhere in between 15% to 20% of the married population. And these studies did not focus on the elderly. In fact most of these study participants were younger than 40, and most in their 30s. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis have not been the panacea expected by many couples who discovered they had a relationship problem rather than a physical erection problem. Focus on techniques, priorities, communication and attention to partner’s needs can do more for a relationship than pills in many of these cases. (See www.boomerbookseries.com the books "Sex in the Golden Years," and "Foreplay the real focus of great sex.") Of course, most of you readers are not in sexless relationships, in fact the great majorities of you are in situations of better than average sexual gratification and are perhaps trying to recapture some of the old spice or add some new tricks to add to an already happy sex life. Whatever your motivations is to be reading here, the motivation is to help you achieve a goal of the best sex yet … whatever your ages.
For more on this subject read "Sex in the Golden Years - the best sex ever." Amazon & Kindle books by Othniel Seiden, MD