Chastity is usually the unfortunate consequence of a long distance relationship. Weeks or months often pass by between visits, leaving individuals desperate for physical contact with anyone who steps within arm’s reach. But before you give into that urge and snuggle up with the next girl or guy you meet, make sure you agree on boundaries with your partner and establish what is and is not permissible physical contact to avoid unnecessary heartache and frustration later on.
Be sure to:
Either agree on or rule out an open relationship
As mentioned in a previous article, it is important to discuss the nature of your relationship so that each partner knows what is expected of him or her. Some couples prefer a monogamous relationship, others are happy to try out an open relationship where each person is free to “hook up” with other people. There is nothing wrong with this decision if BOTH partners are happy with the arrangement. If you have a problem with your partner doing anything physical or sexual with another person then it is your responsibility to say so at the BEGINNING of the relationship, regardless of whether or not it is an open relationship. Do not pretend that you are okay with allowing random hook ups if you have any reservations. Passive aggression does not suit anyone and it is definitely not healthy to harbor in a long distance relationship already fraught with sexual repression.
Cover all your bases
However, deciding that you are in an open relationship does not mean that the conversation about physical boundaries has ended. What will your open relationship be like? Is there a line that must not be crossed, or do you have free reign? It’s best to answer these questions BEFORE you get drunk at a bar and make-out with the first guy who pays you a compliment. The same is true of a monogamous relationship since even those can differ. Your partner should do all he or she can to earn your trust, but you can’t expect others to instinctively know what you find acceptable.Everyone has a different view on what fidelity entails and, as Anthony Weiner has shown the nation, cheating now comes in a variety of different forms.
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