Conflict resolution is an important skill that is taught in the Montessori classroom. Parents often ask how to accomplish this in their homes. Set up a peace table in a peace corner in the home for the whole family to use.
Designate a particular area to be the peace corner. It can be a small table and chair set, special cushions, or whatever will stand out from other furniture and areas of the home. This area should only be used for conversations about conflict resolution.
Find some sort of peace pole, peace stick, peace flower, or other designated symbol. This symbol should only be used for conflict resolution conversations at the peace table.
When one person is upset with another, she needs to invite the offending part to the peace table by saying, "I invite you to the peace table." The person who does the inviting is the one who gets the peace flower. She then needs to calmly tell the other person why she is upset, focusing on "I" phrases. "I am feeling sad because you took my toy."
She then has to pass the peace flower to the other person, to give him an opportunity to speak. They keep passing the peace flower back and forth to take turns sharing what is on their minds. Only the person who is holding the peace flower is permitted to speak at a time.
Discussions at the peace table are meant to be calm, using kind words. Name-calling is not allowed. Yelling is not okay. If participants cannot stay calm, then the conversation needs to be briefly postponed, but never cancelled.
A conversation at the peace table should continue until the two parties can come to some kind of resolution. On occasion, a third party many need to help mediate, but ideally, only the people involved should be in the conversation.
While this is a technique primarily used in a Montessori classroom between two students, teachers can also use it when talking to children. Parents and siblings can use the peace table at home to inspire conversation and conflict resolution, instead of resorting to shouting.
For more conflict resolution ideas, read Teaching Conflict Resolution: Peaceful Activities in the Montessori Classroom.
Comments
Very good idea. With all the stress in today's world, focusing on being calm and peaceful is important.
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