Have you ever been bullied? Know someone who has been bullied?
The response often given to the bullied when they talk to someone in authority about the bullying, is “If you send out signals that you don’t want to belong people will generally make sure you don’t belong”. In short, it is the bullied persons own fault he or she is being bullied.
Think about it for a moment. do you really believe that any one really does not want to belong? And for those rare few who really do not want to belong, The signals that they send out are usually quite effective in deterring any one from bullying them.
In all truthfulness, when someone is being bullied, it is not the one being bullied who is sending out signals. It is quite honestly the one doing the bullying who is sending signals out quite clearly stating “You Do Not Belong”, “We don’t want you here”.
The only signals that the victim of a bully is experiencing are the signals that he or she is receiving. And when the bullied person does send out signals, those signals are saying, “I get it, you don’t like me”, “Please, don’t do this to me”, “What did I do Wrong”, “Why do you hate me”, “Someone please help me”.
Is it right to blame a woman for being raped? Is it right to blame a molested child for being molested? Is it right to blame a murder victim for being murdered? No? Then why do we blame the bully victim for being bullied.
Want bullying to stop? Then stop holding the victim responsible for the actions of the victimizer and start holding the victimizer responsible for their own actions.
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