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Send in he clowns! The Religious Right responds to Utah polygamy ruling

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Countless times on the National Political Rebuttal Examiner, religious authoritarians have had to be reminded that it isn't a form of religious persecution to be denied the capacity to persecute any and all individuals they dislike.

This is because the typical rallying cry of the American fundamentalist has been to complain that their rights are under attack by equal rights for atheists, Muslims, and especially the LGBT community, with the latter being constantly accused of attacking the biblical definition of marriage.

Also common among their complaints has been a promise that the legalization of gay marriage would in turn lead to the legalization of other sexual relationships they find offensive.

One of which, ironically, is biblical: Polygamy. From Jacob's two wives to Solomon's 100 wives, polygamy is constantly enshrined by the very Bible they claim to be getting their sources from.

Yet, when a judge ruled a Utah anti-polygamy law partially unconstitutional and ruled that practicing polygamists can legally live together, the collective temper tantrum from these self-proclaimed champions of Biblical principle could have registered on the Richter scale.

Send in the clowns!

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council:

This decision is a real war on women and children as polygamy is a practice that has historically devalued the role of women and undermined the equality of a husband and wife that has become the standard in Western Civilization.

Brian Brown of the National Organization for Marriage:

For years, we have warned of the importance of preserving the norms of marriage and its definition as the union of one man and one woman. Now we see the next step in the path of consequences for abandoning those norms. Left on its current course, in a few years marriage could be unrecognizable.

The American Family Association:

Though we have been accused of exaggerating and scare-mongering, this ruling shows that we were right all along to sound the alarm. Bans against incest are now at risk of being overturned.

Mat Staver:

Once you cross the precipice to deconstruct marriage so that it includes people of the same sex, there's no logical or legal way to stop the avalanche of further deconstruction of marriage – which includes polygamy and even polyamory, group marriage.

James Dobson:

Just as same sex marriage led straight to polygamy, the destruction of the family will quickly undermine the foundations of the nation.

Gary Bauer:

America's leftist elites want to rip our nation away from Judeo-Christian values. If they succeed our 'shining city on a hill' will just be another brothel.

Once again, the Religious Right has collectively failed to practice what they preach and instead demonstrated that the only Biblical principles they ever cared about were the ones they could adhere to without even trying.

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