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Sedating the Union

Tomorrow, Tuesday January 28, 2014 the President will deliver the State of the Union speech. I have my own interpretation of the President's idea of where the nation is:

"My fellow Americans, this nation is in excellent shape tonight. There have been a few glitches along the way but we are on course to keep my most important campaign promise: to fundamentally change the United States of America."

"Now the doubters will point out a few minor speed bumps that admittedly we have encountered. They will say that the Affordable Care Act is a disaster. They will point out that it was passed with no Republican support. They will accuse Hillary Clinton of malfeasance in the Benghazi terror attack."

"They will accuse my Administration of various illegal activities including IRS targeting of conservative groups, NSA wiretapping of citizens and foreign leaders, the Fast and Furious affair, etc."

"They will accuse us of incompetence for the botched Health Care website rollout. They will also accuse us of crony capitalism for issues like the bankruptcy of Solyndra and the union payoffs to GM employees after the bailout."

"They will say the number of Foodstamp recipients has skyrocketed under my watch. They will say the job numbers are skewed due to millions leaving the job market and that we have failed to improve the economy. They will say we have been fiscally irresponsible in adding trillions to our national debt."

"They will accuse Michelle and I of living large while the nation suffers by taking multi-million dollar vacations and playing numerous rounds of golf at taxpayer expense."

"My fellow Americans, don't be fooled by the naysayers- I say to you tonight the United States of America is in excellent shape and anyone who says differently has been brainwashed by Fox News and Rush Limbaugh."

"And as for the few things that have gone less than perfectly in the last five years, I have had my staff looking into the causes and we have found the underlying problem:"

"It's George Bush's fault."

"Good night, and may (an unknown power) bless America."