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Searching in the City: How to Survive Columbus' Singles Scene

Discover great events for searching singles in the city and go from a solo to a duet.
Discover great events for searching singles in the city and go from a solo to a duet.
Jared Woods c/o Google Images

Capital City has a lot to offer. Amazing food, great shopping, parks, art, sports, and some pretty cool people. But what does Columbus have to offer for the single that is searching in the city? Well… on the surface not very much. Night Clubs and monthly "events" in the city have become saturated and typically consist of five types of people.
 

Type1: Cindy Lauper Girls
This category can be defined in two ways: young college girls who are overzealous about finally being allowed to attend the 21 and over event they have been hearing about since the tenth grade or the 20 something with no responsibilities and no sense of life existing beyond her new Camry and her mirror. The bottom line, the Cindy Lauper Girl just wants to have fun. They have no desire to find a grounded man to possibly get to know and unless he is buying her a Cosmo, she has nothing to say to him.
 

Type2: My Dad
Please understand that I don’t mean this literally. I would die, literally, if I ran into my dad at a night club. The “My Dad” type is the older man who doesn’t necessarily plan to take advantage of a girl, and probably doesn’t even want to be there in the first place, but is recently divorced, separated, or just realized how old he is, so at the encouragement of type3 (please see below), has decided that tonight is the night to take a risk and hit the club! Bad idea pops. You're standing alone in the corner drinking a Bud Light and every time you smile at a young lady who reminds you of your oldest, she takes it the wrong way and thinks you’re creepy.
 

Type3: Your Dad
Now, Your Dad is the old pimp in the fur coat and Coogie Sweater that forced My Dad to sacrifice reruns of Frasier to come out in the first place. While My Dad is standing alone in the corner accidently creeping girls out, Your Dad is in the middle of the dance floor about to catch a harassment case. He doesn’t take NO for an answer and decides that if you don’t want all that goodness there must be something wrong with you. He reeks of Old Spice and Whiskey and let’s not mention his breath.
 

Type4: The A-Team
Now, the A-Team could be frat boys, childhood friends, brothers, or any combination of the following: the clean cut one who probably has a girlfriend, the more edgy yet equally attractive one who probably has a girlfriend, the older one who is also quite attractive but you’re pretty sure he has a girlfriend, and the minority (note: minority is defined based on the majority that has already been defined by the rest of the group, this man can be the random short guy, tall guy, less attractive guy, or minority may refer to race) nevertheless, he is cute—and he has a girlfriend. However, members of the A-Team will still flirt, tell you how pretty you are, ask you dance and then occupy you for the next 5 songs, buy you a drink and may even take your number and text you from across the room—only for you to discover a week later that, YUP! He is freaking TAKEN! Yes ladies, that “A” stands for A!*hole!
 

Type5: The searching single
Then there’s you. Poor you. Stuck and lonely in the freak show. You’re upset because you clearly overpaid on the cover, spent way too much at the bar trying to drink your way out of your frustration, you wasted a really cute outfit that you have been saving to wear until you went somewhere “worth it”, two of the people you came with fall into type1 and the guy you have been exchanging smirks with from across the room is the worst type of A-Team member of them all; his girlfriend is actually there! After you finally drag your drunk friend away from My Dad and your cousin away from Your Dad, you tell everyone the car “I’m never doing this again” only they’re too wasted to comprehend, so you turn the music up and regret the night in your head all the way home.
 

If you fall into types 1-4, I sincerely apologize if I offended you in any way. However, if you are a Type5, don’t give up just yet. Much like the food, entertainment, and creative scene in Columbus, the best things are often kept a secret, but hey, that’s what you have me for! Check out www.ColumbusSinglesEvents.com, you submit your profile and are contacted by a representative from the firm which has been in business for 30 years connecting local singles. Another local firm that specializes in hosting singles events is Park Place Singles. While a lack of funding caused Park Place to stop operating a couple of years ago, it is now back and just as dedicated to creating a safe, mature, fun environment for singles to meet, mingle and maybe more. Check them out, get more information, and sign up at www.parkplacesingles.com.
 

A new idea that has shown successful in Columbus so far is speed dating; Radiance Public Relations is hosting Single in the City Volume II on March 25th at Level Lounge in the Short North District. In this safe, controlled environment, men and women, ages 25-30 are given the opportunity to go on 16 five minute dates. There’s is a brief mixer after the game where you can get to know someone a little better if the five minutes just wasn’t enough. And don’t worry, there’s no pressure if you don’t want to exchange contact information. The women are allowed to select the men they wish to share their information with and a couple of days following the event, she is emailed the contact information of her potential matches. So if you’re not feeling a guy, you can politely say, "I’ll make sure to list you"; it’s just a white lie and you probably won’t see him ever again. If you’re interested and want more information, feel free to email me at examinerbritt@gmail.com or to register visit www.radianceprevents.eventbrite.com.

 

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