Sean tells all - 2.19.13

Tonight is the night we get to hear Sean dish! So, Sean, what is the 411? What has everybody been up to? What is the hot gossip? Tell us everything.

First, Sean explains that he sent Dez home because after he visited her family he realized that they actually did grow up in a tent, and that tents are a step below trailers. Apparently Sean and the brother got along at first and then the brother changed his mind and decided to hate Sean. In Chris Harrison’s blog, he writes about how the producers filled Dez’s brother’s head with bad news about Sean. Chris Harrison is a known liar though so we cant be sure.

Next we reminisce on why one arm isn’t enough arms. Sean confesses he felt nothing when he kissed Sarah’s cold dead lips and that if he had to be near her for one more second he was gonna flip out.

“I wanted to stop him before he even started because I knew what he was going to say. It’s always the same story.”

What if your one arm isn’t actually the problem Sarah, ever consider that? Just saying.

We watch Sean and Selma rub their noses together and scissor each other since Selma isn’t allowed to kiss. Then, for some reason, she gives in and they share in the most boring kiss ever. If you’re going to disgrace your entire country, completely disregard your religion, and bring shame to your whole family for a guy, at least stuff your tongue in his mouth and grab his ass. Sucks he already knew he was gonna send her home before he let her kiss him.

“Enjoy your bus ride back to Iraq! HAHAHAHA!"

Speaking of stupid ass kisses, we have to rehash Lesley M and Sean’s five-hour smooch. In some ground breaking never before seen footage, we watch Sean and Lesley M feed each other brownies. “Yeah give it to me, you know what daddy likes,” who knew Sean was actually funny, and a little perverted even. Sean says that Lesley M should have said I love you on their last date, and worn less clown makeup, and he might have kept her around.

I would be pissed if I was engaged to Sean and he said he wished Lesley M said she was in love so he could have kept her around. But I guess that’s why I didn’t accept his rose. Hearing Sean say that about Lesley M just solidified my choice.

Will AshLee have sing a song to activate her magical glowing hair in order escape from the water cave in next week’s episode? Honestly… I already know who gets sent home and who the next bachelorette is gonna be thanks to a bully on Twitter so I’m not even going to ask anymore questions. SYS.

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, Arlington TV Examiner

Michelle has been watching reality television for many years, and is committed to providing full summaries of your favorite series. Why does she do it? So that you can stay informed when you forget to use TiVo, and because she thinks it's fun.

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