July 20, 2010
In part 1 of this article, we explored the difference between schoolyard and workplace bullying.
So, based on the growing field of study which analyzes bullying, start your quest for handling the bully boss by asking yourself the three questions below.
You’ll find some prompts to help you with your answers. Keep in mind you will have to wade through you anger and damning thoughts to find real answers to these questions. The ‘he is an out-dated S@#’ may be true but it is not going to help you.
- What fears might be driving my bully boss?
- Performance deadlines
- Family challenges
- Health concerns
- Being an outsider
- Weak sense of self
- What is my bully boss trying to accomplish with bullying?
- Improved outcomes
- Sadistic pleasure of seeing others suffer
- Gain a personal win
- Prove who is the boss
- Prove he/she knows more
- Keep everyone on edge believing it will improve performance (a management style)
- What skills is my bully boss lacking?
- Team building
- Ability to respect others and appreciate differences
Okay, hopefully this exercise has helped you gain some perspective on your situation and some empathy for yourself and your bully boss. Now ask yourself these questions:
- What one thing can I take from these exercises that will help me gain perspective on the situation?
- What do I need to know to help me with this bully boss?
- What skills do I need to have to help me?
- What can I do right now to help myself cope?
- Who can I call and talk with who understands the problem?
Unlike the schoolyard bully situation, workplace bullying is a prison yard sentence without an end date. Only you can negotiate your parole. Either you use a spoon to scratch you way out, find a weakness in the prison security system and run away, demonstrate your goodness for an early release, expose the guards to higher authorities, convince the parole board that you deserve to be released, or redefine your sentence and walk out the gate a free man or woman.
In the end, you are the master of your fate. Take charge now but use care and wisdom as you plan the rest of your life.