Teaching children to settle conflict’s without violence is a safety must for life. Many children do not need any direct teaching. Through watching their parents solve life’s daily issues they learn self-control and self-discipline.
There are some children who need guidance with either their aggressiveness and/or their impulsiveness. This happens when the child has frequent conflicts, in many locations and situations.
Here are some things parents can try to help their child who seems plagued with conflicts:
· Help your child think about what happen that led to the conflict. Ask what happen right before the conflict. When did he know things were getting out of control? What could he have done differently? (Remember to give your permission not to fight. You would be proud of him for choosing not to fight.) You are helping him to see other ways to respond.
· Do role playing and problem solving with your child. Remember when you role play a situation that has led to a recent fight you each need to try each role. Talk about alternatives he might have used and what the new outcomes might have been.
· Serous conflicts seldom stop with one fight, unless someone steps up and breaks the cycle. Revenge is never an option, even when social pressure is happening. Be sure to role play how he is going to get his point across that he is simply not interested in fighting.
· If your child was wrong, be careful how you punish him. Never spank or hit, because the message is you believe in violence for settling disputes. Make it constructive, such as cleaning out closets, garage, or weeding. Something that puts his physical energy to good use.
· Chronic fighting is a symptom of other problems and you should look to your family doctor to find professional help.
· If your child has an aggressive friend think about looking for ways you can get your child involved with a new group.
· Team sports often give children a way to get out their aggression while learning to play by the rules.
· Remember excluding others and saying-texting-posting mean things are just as aggressive acts as fighting.
· One of the best tools you can give your child is a good self-concept. To know that they are loved. When a friend becomes too much to handle they can just walk away. It won’t be easy but you will respect, admire and love them all the more.
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