Well, here we are at the start of another New Year – New Year’s 2014. This is the time of the year when so many of us make promises to ourselves and others that we hardly ever keep! These so-called “New Year’s Resolutions” sound good when we make them but, all too often, we ignore them by Valentine’s Day.
You know the familiar refrains – I will lose weight. I will quit smoking. I will call my Mom at least once a week! – and the list goes on.
How about you do something different this year. How about making a New Year’s Resolution that you plan to keep. Why not make a commitment to make love your New Year’s Resolution? More importantly, why don’t you make a commitment to tell someone you deeply love that you love them – and that you will do it several times every day in 2014!
Make this the year that you do not commit the egregious sin of saying, “Oh, I don’t need to tell her (him) I love her (him). They know I love them.” Wrong! If you love someone you must tell them – you must tell them every day. You must tell them how much you love them and how important they are in your life. You cannot possibly love someone with all your heart and with all your soul, and not tell him or her every day. It is simply not possible. Here’s why.
We have interviewed hundreds of happily married couples over the past 32 years. Many of our findings are reported in our new book, How to Marry the Right Guy.
Truth is, we have learned many things from the many lovebirds we have interviewed, but one thing is certain – one thing is pervasive in all of our interviews – people in love say so! They tell each other every day. They shout it to the stars each day. To be in love – to be truly in love – is to tell the one you love that you love them every day of your life. To do less is to diminish your love for them.
Recently, we were in France interviewing successfully married couples. While in Lyon we spent time with the grandparents of one of Charley’s former exchange students who lives in Lyon with her husband. Her wonderful grandparents had been in love for over 60 years. They reported to us that every day of their lives together they tell each other how much they love each other – how deep their love for each other is. To watch their eyes mist up over the mere mention of their love for each other brought tears to our eyes as well.
We have seen this reaction over and over in the collective 100,000 years of marriage we have interviewed over these past 32 years. It’s always the same – people in love show their love for each other, but they also TELL their love for each other. They do it every day. To understand why they have stayed married for so long – in this case 63 years – you only have to observe their love for each other and listen to their words. You just have to listen to their words. They love each other and they tell each other so many times each day. You can learn a lot from people who are truly in love.
So, friends, when you start making your New Year’s Resolutions this year, start with love. When you are in love, all things are possible. Make love your New Year’s Resolution. You will never regret it.
Love well. Happy New Year!
Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts.
**Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own and read How to Marry the Right Guy, to find out if your guy has the essential 33 characteristics to be a great husband.