Dear Citizens of the United States:
As the nation's sole advocate for gay rights and body image, I thought it was important to respond to the controversy regarding using guns on my bra and pretending to shoot the audience at my show in Vancouver this weekend. This is all art and has nothing to do with exploiting the victims of the Sandy Hook massacre. (By the way, two of the children that were murdered were said to be big fans of mine.)
The guns represent repression against the LGBT community, which I assure you I am the leader of. Until I released my "Born This Way" album, the LGBT community was discriminated against. Gays and Lesbians were not allowed to serve in the military until I spoke up about this injustice. Because of my "Born This Way" foundation, we live in a better world and people are not afraid to be different.
Furthermore, criticizing me and saying I am insensitive is nothing but bullying. Can't we make the world a better place? I set a great example for my Little Monsters. I would never say how Madonna looks like an old lady who was raped by a coyote. I would never say that Obama looks like a Black Howdy Doody doll. And even though Barbara Walters has criticized me, I would never bring up the fact that she has a turnip face with eyes that look like vulture feces. That's because I, as well as all my Little Monsters, are above bullying.
This is all I have to say about the situation. Tonight, I am going to play in front of 100,000 Little Monsters in Tacoma. I will play hits from my album "Born This Way," which is very original and has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide. Paws up!
50-time Grammy winner, seller of 300 million records, world's biggest Civil Rights advocate