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Satanic Group Offended by Team Name of NBA Sixers

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In the latest challenge to perceived offensive team names, a group known as the Satanic Elders has announced that they are offended by Philadelphia’s NBA team name.

Citing the extreme importance of the number 6 in Satanic tradition, the group says it may present a legal challenge to have the name changed.

The move comes on the heels of similar challenges to the Washington Redskins and just today a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against the Cleveland Indians.

The Satanists said the Sixers team name has long offended members of the group and caused undue pain and suffering.
The group’s leader and spokesperson who goes by the name Most Special Dark said on Thursday that enough is enough. “ We at the Satanic Elders have anguished long enough over the Sixers bearing our most sacred number. The number SIX belongs to his most holy Dante al Fredo, cast off from heaven. The number is six hundred and sixty six!”

Despite the outcry from the Elders, many who oppose the name change cite the fact that over 90% of Satanic Elders surveyed said they are fine with the name. One church member who declined to be identified said today that he actually thinks it’s an honor. “Ya I’m like totally fine with it. I’ve even worn a Sixers jersey to community outreach events. But man the Columbus Yellow Jackets. Now that’s a name that surely angers the all powerful Lord of Darkness!”.

It remains to be seen how quickly the patent office will get involved but the tide may be on the side of the Satanic Elders. Powerful politicians are championing the cause of removing all potentially offensive team names.

Most Special Dark of the Elders did add that he's hopeful about the Sixers top pick in the NBA draft Joel Embiid. "If he's really actually healthy he's an instant impact player. Wait, I mean how dare they blaspheme the name of the Prince of Darkness!"

What’s your opinion on the matter? Should the “Sixers” be forced to change their name?



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