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Sarah Christensen Fu on 'Bad Birthdays'

Bad Birthdays
RWW

1. So what sort of madness and divine inspiration drove you to write this book entitled, "Bad Birthdays The Truth Behind Your Crappy Sun Sign?" Also could you go into your background a bit with astrology as well?

I've always been interested in astrology, and as a youth I studied up on the different sun signs, moon signs, houses and planetary influences. In my college years and twenties, I put astrology aside as metaphysical nonsense and focused on empirical facts (typical know-it-all Virgo). Recently, I renewed my interest in astrology and looking back over my dating and work life, I can really see that a person's astrological sign is an incredibly accurate predictor of behavior. Nearly every relationship in my life makes sense when I view my past interactions through an astrological filter.

2. Ah Cursed Capricorn at your service. So why are Capricorns cursed? I would have to agree though specially in matters of romance. What can you share about my sign with us? Hail Pan Lord of Goats! As for why I'm cursed I could go on and on trust me. Not to mention the weird UFO stuff. Smile.

Ah, the sea goat! Poor, cursed sea goat. First, Capricorns can be so dull in conversation that they drive away potential relationships - idle chatter is repulsive to most Capricorns. Capricorns simply don't want to waste their time and energy with small talk. They refuse to give false compliments just to lubricate social situations. Capricorns also hate to waste their money, and want to pour most of their resources into their career. The curse runs deep with Capricorns... though I'm sure you're an exception, Jeffery.

3. I've been with a lot of Lousy Libra women and had nothing but trouble. What is the problem with these lousy wenches?

Lousy Libras. Libras can be so vain and so caught up with style and appearances that they don't even realize they're lacking in substance. The quickness which which they change their minds can literally make your head spin. A Capricorn + Libra combination can be brutal, especially on the Libra's fragile psyche. Capricorn is not interested in all the little darling gifts that Libra offers up, and mainly wants stability and reliability in romance. Libras mainly want to be taken shopping, the thought of which turns Capricorn's stomach.

4. So what do you mean by Surly Scorpios exactly? In my experience with them they are very devious and somewhat evil and oh definite grudge holders! The ones I meet anyway. And sense their planet Pluto isn't classified as a planet anymore or is it? Anyway they've been extra stingy!

Surly Scorpios are so manipulative, it's really crazy. They want to be the whole world's puppet master. If you refuse to be manipulated, or stand up to a Scorpio's bullying, watch out... you've made an enemy for life. Scorpios will spend years plotting revenge and they will figure out a way to get back at you. Their fiery tempers sometimes show up in the form of sulky surliness, and other times they can rage and be vengeful. In my opinion, Scorpios are the most intense sign in the zodiac.

5. This is a wild card question, what would you like to share with us from your book that our readers might enjoy?

Well, I guess I'll share a little bit about myself. I am a Vexed Virgo, through and through, and here is the Virgo section.

Have you ever wondered why the astrological sign for people with birthdays between August 24th and September 23rd is the virgin? Why, oh why, would this sign be represented by someone who is untouched and unloved in the physical sense? Bad news: being a virgin is not necessarily by choice for the great astrological maiden in the sky, though she might try to convince you that it is. She might even believe it herself. Sorry to say, the simple truth is that Virgos are kind of intense and off-putting.

Inviting a Vexed Virgo into your house is slightly like inviting in a critical mother-in-law who has been up all night on some illegal appetite-suppressants. The Virgo will start cleaning immediately. It will start with little things, like a piece of dog hair on the couch, and if you let it, it will quickly spiral to a full-on scrubbing of the oven. All the while, Virgo will be muttering little well-intentioned insults like, “It’s incredible how many dishes someone who doesn’t really cook can acquire,” or, “It’s so nice that you feel so comfortable with me as a friend that you can invite me over when your house is in such disrepair.” It’s quite charming. The upside is that it’s an almost-free cleaning service, with the only cost being your self-esteem.

The other upside of inviting a Virgo to your home is that they are loyal, sympathetic, charitable pals. They are true-blue and genuinely care about their friends and family. They listen to problems and offer insightful advice after a careful analysis of your situation, and also make excellent designated drivers if you can stand to have them around. They have likely calculated exactly how much they can drink per hour to stay underneath the legal limit, so you’ll usually be safe with a Virgo behind the wheel. They also make good bar trivia partners because they are able to mentally file away and recall a lot of mostly useless information.

Whatever you do, when you’re spending time with a Virgo, please don’t let on that you have noticed their annoying habits. They have a tendency to freak out, and when they lose it, they’ll start listing every single thing you’ve ever done to them. They’ll remember the time that you left a coffee ring on their coffee table because you refused to use a coaster, and the time that you brought home low-fat yogurt instead of fat-free yogurt. So bite your tongue unless you want a blow-by-blow recollection of the time that you accidentally backed into the garbage can.

6. So what did you think about that new sign called Ophiuchus? Crap are my thoughts to be honest.

Ah, creepy Ophiuchus, the Snake Bearer! I believe that the twelve sun signs are widely accepted for a reason, but this 13th sign can help qualify some of the quirks of Capricorn and Sagittarius. The Snake Bearer is a healer, a medicine man, and both Sagittarius and Capricorns can be wildly selfish for very different reasons. When you come across a kind, and helpful Capricorn or Sagittarius, ask their birthday - you might find that their birthday falls between Nov 29 and Dec 17. Or that they're just faking the whole kind and helpful thing, which is more likely.

7. Do you really think signs are compatible romance wise and what signs would I look for being a Capricorn? Any more advice you could offer?

Well, as a matter of fact... Virgo is a pretty good match for a Capricorn (raises eyebrows). Unfortunately, a Virgo/Capricorn love affair will never be "hot" hot. Just mutually enjoyable and likely quite profitable. I think Cancer and Gemini can both be good matches for Capricorn, as long as Capricorn's partner doesn't mind taking a back seat in decision making and household management.

8. What are you up to next book wise or any projects you'd like to share or links?

Good question! I'm thinking about a book on Bad Birthday names that would include my cutting opinion on names with apostrophes and anyone who names their child after the main character of a horror movie, or a biblical criminal.

I'd mainly love to share the video for this book https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2sPnjlPZGQ, and thank all of the zodiac signs for being such utter assholes that there was no lack of content for Bad Birthdays. It was such a fun project and I'll let you know what's next for me as it comes up.

Brought to you by Red Wheel Weiser.