So you are Medallion Level- Gold, maybe even Platinum?
You have racked up over one million miles on one airline?
You get upgraded most every time you fly?
Let me tell you about the king of frequent flyer miles, and he earns them all on one night.
I'm talking about Santa.
Yep, wearing that red suit and showing off that white beard, Santa has one busy night ahead of him.
You may have to do that New York to L.A. cross-country hop every other week, but that's nothing compared to the jet lag old Santa must be feeling come Christmas morning.
Assuming 2.5 kids per household, that means Santa will have to visit about 700,000,000 homes on that busy night. Remember he is flying courtesy of reindeer power, so that means he can cut in an out of the flight path's of commercial and private aircraft, so he will total about 316,899,306 miles on Christmas Eve assuming there is about .44 miles between every home in the world.
Add up your mileage from every flight you've ever took and you are a grain compared to Santa's tonnage when it comes to accruing frequent flyer miles.
Imagine in Santa has to pay those "checked bag fees" for every toy on the sled? I have a feeling we would all be getting Amazon gift cards at that point. That brings up the whole issue of whether Santa would ever consider using drones. Ok, I'm not going to go there.
And one other thing, Santa isn't really a "frequent flyer." He logs all his miles in one night, which opens up the rest of the year to take Mrs Claus and maybe a couple hardworking elves to Hawaii by cashing in a few miles.
The next time you are in a middle seat on the red-eye back to the east coast, remember it's not that bad, you don't have 316,896,000 miles to go before you can return home.
I wonder if Mrs. Claus' first words when Santa returns is "Where were you? I texted and you didn't answer!"