Sammy Sosa had a pretty solid case going for the baseball Hall of Fame until rumors about performance enhancing drugs made him a marked man among writers disinclined to vote for those under the steroid cloud. The look he sported in a photo tweeted by Yahoo baseball writer Jeff Passan yesterday makes him a marked man among a different contingency: vampire hunters like Van Helsing and Abraham Lincoln. Deadspin was among the first to serve up jokes about the picture, taken at a television station in Panama, and they very kindly also led us to his remarkable Pintrest page.
Since retiring from baseball in 2007, Sosa has had to deal with scrutiny about his changing appearance, mostly because of pictures like this, and also this one, and that one too. When we went through this whole “holy cow, what is going on with Sammy Sosa’s face!?” thing back in ‘09, Sosa blamed the change in his appearance on a face-bleaching cream that he used to soften his skin, assuaging our guilt that his transformation into Dracula might be due to health issues and would therefore be inappropriate to make jokes about. But no, it’s that darned “skin-conditioning” and all of us having a laugh at his expense can rest our heads easy tonight safe in the knowledge that Sosa has done this to himself, and also that the garlic on the nightstand will offer sufficient protection should he actually turn out to be an undead creature of the night.