Step right up, don't be shy, if you are a visiting journalist or athlete to the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games you get to play Russian Roulette.
You've played Russian Roulette already you say? Well you've never played this type where you can win one or all of the many debacles currently taking place in the well-developed, hyper-connected town of Sochi, Russia.
This town is no Mario Kart character, it's a place that's redefining WiFi with it's pop-out of the wall Internet capabilities, urine-stained water and bathrooms that smell like Putin'.
Speaking of bathrooms, rumor has it that video cameras have been Putin' each hotel bathroom. Why you ask? It's obviously because they are in deep fear of people falling in and drowning or because they're afraid of the kind of **** that may be going on in them.
Someone has got to Putin' end to this. Does anybody mind reminding us why exactly Colorado has been black-balled by the Olympic Committee from hosting the Winter Games?
We have been shunned because we turned it down once? Granted, turning down the chance to host the Olympic Games is like saying no to $100 million for a two week time-span where you rent out your mountains to the entire world.
But they act like we upper-deckered their home toilets and turned the heat up to 85 degrees. It's not like we went ahead and legalized marijuana right after The Netherlands made it illegal for foreigners to purchase it in Amsterdam. Saying no was that bad, right?
Wrong, turning it down is bad business.
After all, a country wouldn't want to feel guilt-tripped into hosting the games for fear of being black-balled even though they're not ready to host it, right Russia?
Joking aside, it's easy to sit here and say that it's historically unbelievable that Russia is this tragically unprepared for the Olympics.
It's not like they had years and years to prepare Sochi. This was a really last minute thing when the Olympic Committee decided to spring this burden onto Russia for hosting the Winter Olympics.
This was sudden and you can't be upset at Russia for not being prepared. Seven years is barely enough time to pay off a monthly credit card bill, let alone prepare for an entire Winter Olympics.
So come on, world, let's cut Sochi some slack and maybe, maybe they'll have the brick cemented on the road for the closing ceremonies.
Let's give them a chance to see what they can Putin' to this.