Russian prostitutes household makes 'Svetlana' the raunchy 'Modern Family'

TV REVIEW: Svetlana on HDNet

By Robbie Woliver

Bronx-born, Israeli-raised Iris Bahr is a talented and versatile comedienne. If you've seen Larry the Cable Guy (which I hope you haven't), you'll recognize her from that, or maybe The King of Queens, or The Last Exorcism...err, sorry, no one saw that. Well, I know you saw her in her recurring role as Orthodox Jewish Rachel Heineman from Curb Your Enthusiasm. If you were lucky you might have even caught her off-Broadway show, Dai (Enough), which won the Lucille Lortell Award in 2008 for her one-woman performance. Perhaps you caught her "Social Studies" commentary on NPR, which features her many characters, including Svetlana, the Russian madam, prostitute and political consultant. Anyway, you know her from Curb.

Well, it turns out that our talented Ms. Bahr has spun off Svetlana into a TV series that no one in the world knows about or watches other than me and my partner Kenny Herzog, who is about to report on Svetlana for the A.V. Club. But while he is moving temporarily to Washington D.C., actually en route this minute, I am beating him to the punch. It's only fair because I turned him on to this diamond in the rough, because those of you who follow REVIEWniverse know, there isn't one weird thing on TV that I don't watch. And it doesn't get weirder than Svetlana, really.

Svetlana, who is no shrinking violet, arrived in the U.S.--MInnesota, of all places--a few years back, as a mail order bride. She left her boring life and pushover husband, and moved to Los Angeles to pursue The American Dream: owning a whorehouse that caters to upscale clients. And so is born her St. Petersburg House of Discrete Pleasures. Her new modern family now includes second husband Vlad (Alex Veadov), a very likable heart-of-gold soul, and the love of Svetlana's life, despite his impotence and unemployment. Also on board: her four hot 20-something daughters who are the prostitutes at SPHDP.

Bahr's Svetlana works so well because the character is both no-nonsense and tender, while spewing some of the most caustic lines on TV. The show can get very crass, and even go way too-over-the-top, but when it hits its target, it is fresh, provocative and laugh-out-loud funny. It's an oddity, with a bunch of great pop culture references, killer one-liners, loopy premises, some of the top comic and improv actors around, and just plain funny comedy. Filmed for Mark Cuban's HDNet, the show has a wonderfully cheap look to it (ironically due to the sharp eye of the HD camera), and along with its equally cheesy stereotypical Russian music soundtrack, it's exactly what you'd expect a transplanted Russian brothel would look and sound like. Svetlana's accent is really the star of the show--Bahr takes delight in comically butchering every word. Some actors chew up the set, she chews up the dialogue and spits it out drowned in bright red borscht.

In "Good Friggin' Shabbes," her attempt at getting her young son, Boris, into a good school had Svetlana having shabbes dinner with the directors of a Jewish school. Her attempts at passing herself off as a Jew were genius, considering she's a Jew playing a non-Jew, trying to pass herself off as a Jew. In "Eco Schlong," she mixes sex with environmentalism. In "Yellowcake," Svetlana spends the episode trying to get rid of some high-grade uranium a client left with her. Ahmedinejad, by the way, is one of her clients. On the whole, sex, poitical intrigue and personal drama all invade Svetlana's day, when she'd much rather get her waxing (her son provides some artistic design concepts) or go to yoga ("can we do the anal breathing"). Whether its Svetlana running a recession special for the unemployed that throws SPHDP into mayhem, interviewing neurotic potential chauffers, or torturing her Asian doctor, Dr. Park (very funny recurring character, Randall Park) when she learns she's pregnant, Bahr draws comedy from every possible moment. I know, it all sounds stupid, and maybe it is, but it's definitely original and funny enough to draw you in as one of SPHDP's regular visitors. 

Here's a link to the Svetlana pilot. 

IN OTHER WORDS:  Modern Family being revolutionary is so yesterday thanks to these Russians. 

RATING: 8.5/10

Be sure to check in for our continued coverage of Svetlana when Season 2 premieres in April, as well as Kenny's exclusive reviews of the show on A.V. Club.

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