Running From Crazy
“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”
- Ernest Hemingway
Imagine living in a world where one has many projections of suicide thoughts constantly playing in one’s mind. It is never ending, the pictures keep appearing in your mind without a notice and you wish to stop it. You are desperately looking for the off button from this film that never seems to end inside your head. The harder you try to act or feel normal the worse the thoughts become and they haunt you at night while you try to sleep. “Just be positive.” “Think positive.” It is easier said than done. For a person who lives through this struggle, changing the mental habits of a pre-existing condition in ones’ mind that others don’t understand and can’t see how difficult it is just to survive one day without attempting to make the thoughts come true is extremely hard. Throughout my life I've seen and heard many end their lives. I used to envy them, because they had the courage to follow through from their thoughts. Not to depreciate those who have committed the act but as I got older I realized the real warrior or courageous person is the one who is able to stay alive while fighting a secret battle no one will ever see or understand. I've learned to live with it and tweak it if it’s possible. Obviously, thinking positive thoughts help, but what made me feel extremely better and gain control of satisfaction was helping others. Volunteering, donating, and serving those who are less fortunate has been a gift or some sort of medication that I needed. Feeling needed made my soul feel productive and developed a sense of joy inside me. Working and serving without asking anything in return such as monetary gain or favors, has been the best feeling I ever gotten and it slowly diminishes the empty sadness with the swirling negative thoughts that come with it.
Running from Crazy shows a glimpse of Mariel Hemingway’s dark past that consists of her grandfather Ernest Hemingway’s suicide and seven more others in her family. Her reality was a broken and intense relation among her relatives. The documentary also mainly portrays her relationships between her two sisters Margaux Hemingway who also committed suicide and Muffet Hemingway who was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. Mariel Hemingway beat the odds and her accomplishment was to face the dark past and regain the power she needed to stay alive. Learning healthy habits such as eating well is just one step closer to overcome depression. Mariel Hemingway was able to turn around the darkness and give light to her family and was able to start anew for her daughter. Running from Crazy was directed by Barbara Kopple.