Breaking up can be extremely difficult---and painful. The majority of people simply take the heartache that comes from it and move on. However, everyone has that one person they can classify as ‘The One That Got Away’. Often times, it can be incredibly hard to let them go, and in some cases, it may be worth trying again. We see it all the time, not only in our daily interactions, but in the media as well: People breaking up and getting back together. Generally speaking, these do-overs don’t make it off the ground, but it is possible to make it work.
The first mistake most people make when giving their relationship another shot is going right back into things as though they had never changed. This can be severely detrimental to the cause. It’s hard not to jump into it head-first to try to make up for lost time, but you’ve both changed, and taking things slow is integral to making it work. It’s important to think of it as a brand-new relationship. Take the time to get to know each other again. Just as you would with any other new love interest, you need to evaluate why you want to be together and move things along at a comfortable rate for both of you.
Another misconception people who are trying again have is that they can pick up where they left off and move forward from there. This is not healthy for the relationship in any way. It is vital to address the reasons things ended in the first place. Both of you should sit down together and discuss the bigger issues and be open about the things you would like to see changed. If things are going to work the second time around, you both need to be on the same page.
Finally, and most importantly, let go of the past. Not only while you were together, but also while you were broken up. The time you spent apart was just that: apart. There is no need to hash over the details of who was with whom or doing what with their time. It’s not necessary to dig that up. It’ll cause problems in the newly refurbished relationship, and that is no way to start fresh. If you feel comfortable talking about it with your partner, do so, but once everything is said, drop it and move on.
It is highly probable that your time away from one another strengthened your bond. It gave you both the chance to live your own lives, and it clearly made you realize that life was better with that other person. Take advantage of that feeling. As with all relationships, it takes work, but if you are both willing to put the effort in, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
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