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Romney Wins Popular Vote: First Mormon President

Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney
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Oh wait. It was just a CNN poll. Now after two years, according to this non-news, unnecessary endeavor, Romney would beat Obama in a Presidential election.

For the love of all that is holy, let’s help Jon Stewart buy CNN through kickstarter. Based on much of the content of the Daily Show, perhaps the station founded by Ted Turner would then actually present some news.

Seriously. Samantha Bee did a brilliant piece about children working in tobacco fields. CNN is still looking for the Malaysian airline.

Back to topic. According to this poll, today- after Romney has sat around collecting interest off the business deals that cost Americans jobs and Obama actually was President; Mitt would win the election, 53%-44%.

As Romney has stated for perpetuity, 47% of the population, those darn takers, would automatically vote for Obama. These miserable folks who did not have the foresight to be born into a wealthy, white and powerful family.

And, this poll addresses the popular vote. Ask Al Gore what winning that part of the election does for you. Actually, he was elected President but he and the country suffered the misfortune of having the most obvious voter fraud occur in the state where his opponent’s brother was Governor.

In this sad world, the last few weeks have been especially hard. Scared immigrant children at our borders and our Christian citizens screaming at them. Airplanes being shot down and crashing. Gaza.

It’s enough to have someone lose their faith. Or just their faith in the current leader.

Who no one seems to notice, but is black.

C’mon Mitt Romney. Run again. For a third time. Then, folks can start worrying about the Mormon religion again. And the Democrats can count on you to say something cruel, wrong and clearly not presidential.

There will be a person nearby with a tape recorder aka their phone.

As for CNN, the state of the world is depressing. Still, it is your obligation to report the news.