Difficult as dating is, try it with a houseful of children. Valentine’s Day is put on hold until further notice for some single mothers.
In spite of your mommy status, friends encourage you to put yourself “on the market” and “get back on that horse”. Ride ‘em cowgirl! Yeehaw!
In other cases, loved ones suggest that you remain alone until the kids are out of the house. Sure, just wait another decade or so for a romantic companion. What’s the big rush? What’s so important about dating and relating in your thirties?! (Sarcasm)
Seriously though, it’s not comfortable to have even a couple potential partners come and go. When you’ve broken up with your children’s other parent, you’re already in the hole by one. Introducing someone new may mean re-introducing the loss of a parental figure to your kids.
Perhaps you’re not on the hunt for a new daddy, but you don’t want to be in a “friends with benefits/jump-off” situation either. You want something serious, but not eloping-next-month serious.
So you screen several men before considering a familial intro, and the vast majority may not even make it to a second date. After weeding through a selection for someone best suited for long-term companionship, you might just find one who appears to fit the bill.
When is it okay to introduce someone new to your children? Just how long can you have a successful relationship while residing in separate households? What happens if you’re not as compatible as you once thought?
Author, comedian, radio personality and game show host Steve Harvey, dedicates a chapter in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man to single mothers who are ready to date. Harvey suggests getting to know someone without introducing him to the children is investing precious time into something that very well may end once the introductions are made later. Simply put, you may potentially waste time by avoiding the inevitable. Your man needs to meet your kids because their interaction might be a deal-breaker.
But what of the time put into dating while incorporating family activities into your courtship? What if after 6 months you and your new beau aren’t so compatible after all? Now, you’re not the only one who is affected. Your children have grown accustomed to him and face a loss too.
Can you safeguard your children from a breakup by not introducing your new guy? Do you limit the significance of what you can development with him if you keep those relationships separate?
What’s Your take on the subject of Romantic Lives of Single Mothers?
Comments