Romance of Dating

A research study completed in 2012 by online dating site Match.com found that more than 40 million singles are now utilizing web-based match making services to find love and romance. The internet has hindered traditional social interaction especially dating. It is rare for singletons to meet at church, through family members or be introduced by co-workers any longer. People would rather text than spend time talking to one another. It has made the dating process very impersonal.

Dating is a business

According to a new survey by psychologists at the University of Rochester ….in the United States online dating is the most common way of starting a relationship other than meeting through a friend. Dating has become more of a science than a romantic way to find a partner. It’s created an online shopping adventure to place possible contacts into a basket icon. Instead of making singletons more open-minded shoppers they have become pickier and dismissive of the possibilities presented. The multitude of profiles posted creates a persona of finding perfection in a partner that isn’t realistic.

New dating rules

If you are looking for love….another change has been the dating rules according to authors of Not Your Mother’s Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. They urge women to never Facebook, email or text a man you want to date. They also encourage women to continue to play hard to get. These authors believe that women shouldn’t take the first step to initiate any relationship including online dating. “If a man’s interested in you, he’ll contact you,” said Fein. These authors stated when a woman is contacted it is important to let the anticipation for a response grow. They suggest that women should reply to a text anywhere from 30 minutes to four hours.

There are also several dating deal breakers that many singletons tweet about……such as if you’re not athletic, still live at home, ask for passwords to their cell or Facebook account, discuss past relationships, or have a low credit score it is time to move on. As for sexting that should be taboo until there is marriage. You don’t want to send any emails, pictures or texts that you would want returned if you broke up. If there is a break-up try to move on gracefully. Don’t resort to crazy rants or cyber stalking. This will make it very difficult for you to begin dating again if this information is passed to others.

In any new relationship proceed with caution but be optimistic. Take the time to learn about common interests, career or family goals and how much free time they have available during the week. The answers to these basic questions will let you know if you want to learn more about this individual. In the beginning a relationship that simmers slowly…..can lead to the epitome of romance and that’s a step you don’t want to miss.

Advertisement

, Wichita Family Examiner

Gina Heyen has been a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (LCMFT) since 1999. She counsels individuals, couples and families, and has experience teaching at the elementary and college level. Gina is also a published author.

Today's top buzz...