Review: Emma and the Vampires

Emma and the Vampires (Available August 1st, 2010) by Wayne Josephson (and Jane Austen, of course) is a mashup that capitalizes on every young woman’s unspoken dream, to be matched with a devastatingly handsome, rich, gentleman vampire.  To be the object of desire in a Jane Austen novel is one thing, to be on the receiving end of a gentleman vampire’s lustful advances is quite another.

Emma is unchanged and up to her elbows trying to make the perfect match for her dear, vibrant, plump friend Harriet.  Carrying their trusty stakes tied to their calves, the friends traipse around Highbury gossiping, visiting Mrs. and Miss Bates and generally fending off vampire attacks from the bushes.  

Here I must inject some observational ‘truths,’ about vampire love affairs and the apparent female fixation on them.  The only vampire one can reasonably fall in love with is a ‘gentleman vampire’.  He must also make a reasonable living of at least 4000 pounds or more a year and have an occupation or an openness of expression and opinion if not particularly handsome.

Josephson must have been aware of these rules from reading Austen’s unadulterated Emma, but I sense he has also been unwittingly inducted into the modern day fascination with dashing vampires and fallen prey to their schemes at seducing the female mortal race.  Again, forgive me readers, for I mean to say ‘gentlemen vampires’ for there is a decided difference in class.  

Read my interview with Wayne Josephson

Take into account our attraction to Louis of ‘Interview with the Vampire’, Count Dracula and of course a certain brooding young man named Edward Cullen of the ‘Twilight’ series.  They are all quite good looking, great with the ladies and most importantly, rich.  Although the Count couldn’t always be ‘counted’ on to act like a gentleman, with his title and fortune, he would most likely run with ‘The Ton’ of London if transplanted and placed in Regency times.

Emma takes steps to school Harriet on how a proper gentleman vampire is to act and in comparing Mr. Knightly to Mr. Martin, Harriet responds, ‘Certainly he is not like Mr. Knightly.  He has not such a fine air and way of walking as Mr. Knightley.  And Mr. Knightley does not drool at a lady when he speaks.  I see the difference plain enough.  Mr. Knightley is so very fine a man!’

Emma and the Vampires is full of wonderful little witty remarks that have you chuckling to yourself if not outright laughing out loud at Emma’s ‘cluelessness’, Harriet’s sweet trusting nature and the ridiculousness of fighting off hoards of vampires that seem to follow the upper set around town on their outings.  

Emma’s best and most heart fluttering scenes are still intact if not slightly blood enhanced for the horror thirsty.  I would recommend giving this to your teen as an introduction to Austen if she wouldn’t give her the time of day otherwise.  

It’s hard to say how popular mashups will be in the long run and when the enthusiasm for the novelty will wear out.  With honestly I can say I found Emma and the Vampires amusing, but probably more for the young adult reader.  

4 out of 5 stars!