It was reported by the Washington Post in September of 2009 that the recession wiped out $2 Trillion in retirement savings over the last 2 years. That means only one thing, so much for those commercials about “The Villages!” I can see myself at 65, sitting through another performance appraisal and answering the question – “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Not that I don’t have high goals and aspirations but just showing up would be great!
As someone who currently works from home, I can see myself shuffling off for the office in my bedroom slippers and arriving just in time for mid morning break. Mind you, I left for work at 7 AM. It reminds me of the days when I commuted to work. I won’t have to travel very far but it will take me forever to arrive. I’ll have to leave early to arrive home on time. Hate to miss that early bird special!
The workplace will no doubt change forever. Here are some changes we can look forward to:
*When you reach a certain age, maintenance will install grab bars in your cubicle. I have to thank my friend Georgene for this one. I love it!
*Meetings will begin by celebrating everyone who was able to make it.
*If someone dies on the job, they will be expected to turn in all company property prior to leaving the building. Failure to do so may be immediate grounds for termination.
*There will be spaces reserved in the front of every meeting room for the hard of hearing. There will also be space reserved in the back of the room for those inclined to say anything that comes to mind.
*Hall monitors will be needed to ensure everyone is accounted for and no one wanders off the grounds.
*Hallways will be widened to allow for walkers and wheelchairs. Anyone caught speeding will lose snack privileges.
*HR will look more like nurse Rachet in “One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest.”
*HR will definitely be more popular as they will be authorized to dispense medical marijuana and Viagra. The line will wrap around the building on Fridays.
*All employees will wear badges which will ID who they are and indicate where they sit in case anyone gets confused.
*There will be less focus on titles and reporting relationships. At this point no one will give a crap. Inappropriate comments, at the most inappropriate time, will become the norm.
*Performance reviews will look more like your annual physical. Your overall rating will depend on the results of your blood work and EKG.
*There will be a ground rule that meetings must end when 50% of the participants fall asleep.
*“64” will be the only font size allowed for power point presentations.
*In addition to the company ID, employees will be required to wear a bracelet which lists current medical conditions and medications.
*Unlike today where the first row of parking is reserved for handicapped parking, 1/2 of the parking lot will be designated handicapped parking. The company will run a shuttle from the parking lot to the main building like you see at Disney.
*The fitness center will look more like physical therapy at an orthopedic hospital.
*The differences between voluntary and involuntary turnover will become blurred.
*Bring your child to work day will be more like bring your grandchild to work day.
Tonight’s Bingo in the cafeteria so I need to wrap this up. How do you see the workplace changing in future?
See you back at the office.
Comments
Very witty and clever article.
oakland customer service examiner
HILAROUS...really, laughed out loud. Sadly, there's probably some truth there in terms of things to come???!
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