What better way to ring in the New Year than to commit to being the best you in 2014? That includes the “you” at work, the “you” as a family member, the “you” as a friend, and the “you” as a potential partner for someone yet to arrive in your life.
If you are starting January single and searching, take a moment to pinpoint what exactly it is you are looking for. When is the last time you actually took a moment in your busy schedule to recognize your wants? Not your needs, your wants. None of us needs a man/woman/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to function as a human being. As Irina Dunn said, Gloria Steinem repeated, and U2 sang, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." And vise versa.
Regardless, you may want to find somebody to share your life with. If that’s the case, you should first probably ascertain what kind of person you want to attract and more importantly what you can contribute to the relationship should you find that person.
At the risk of sounding self-helpy, write down your best qualities. Go on, do it. It’s a fresh start to a new year, what else are you going to do as you nurse your New Year’s Eve hangover? Are you generous? Do you have a fierce sense of humor? Do you volunteer in your community? What do you like about yourself and hope to find in a partner?
Now write down your flaws. Be honest. Are you selfish? Do you have road rage? Do you gossip too much? Are these qualities you are willing to change about yourself if there is a slight chance they might be holding you back from finding the person of your dreams?
Or what if these character flaws are only holding you back from being the person of your dreams? Would you still be willing to change, just for yourself? Is that motivation enough?
The answer should be “yes!”
This year, don’t make a New Year’s resolution to find someone. Make a resolution to be a better person. Then just wait and see what the universe sets in front of you.