In what appears to be both a pain to victims and a waste of perfectly good pastries, some residents of an Oregon town have reported several cases of vandalism involving cars smeared with doughnuts, of all things.
Oregon Live noted on Monday that the tasty capers have been going down in the town of Hillsboro, located just west of Portland (a city known nationwide for its excellent doughnuts). In one neighborhood, residents have seen pastries like maple bars and chocolate doughnuts with sprinkles unceremoniously smudged or simply left on car windshields.
The vandalism isn’t completely restricted to pastries, however; though doughnuts appear to be used the most often, the use of snack cakes, eggs, potato salad, and yogurt have also been reported.
A woman first reported the unusual activity earlier this month and told police that though she wasn’t a victim herself, her roommate and neighbors had been. She also recalled seeing food strewn throughout the neighborhood about 13 times (coincidentally, that’s a baker’s dozen).
The first victim who went to police had to deal with the vandalism and its associated cleaning costs not one, but six times starting in early June. The woman’s car was reportedly hit with a maple bar two separate times and pink yogurt, potato salad, a cinnamon doughnut, and "bread soaked in a white 'slimy' liquid" on the other occasions.
Some detective work determined that the doughnuts were probably purchased or stolen from WinCo Foods and Albertsons. Police also determined that the vandalism has been taking place overnight and is likely being done by younger people (a “Twilight” book was left behind at the scene of one incident, after all). Sergeant Dan O’Loughlin called the acts “more likely crimes of easy opportunity” in his report.
Authorities do not believe anyone has specifically been targeted but will still do some extra patrolling of the neighborhood to catch the “bakery bandits,” as Hillsboro police spokesman Lt. Mike Rouches calls the perps.
"In my 25 years in police services, I have never investigated or seen a criminal mischief involving pastries,” Rouches said.