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Researchers consider 'zombie attack'


Could you survive this horde?

Canadian researchers from Ottawa have come to a unanimous conclusion: if zombies were to actually exist, any attack brought on by them would cause the basic downfall of man, unless of course we were able to fight back quicker and harder than what they would be doing to us.

No way! Never in a million years would anyone have guessed that something such as this would be a reasonable conclusion.

This conclusion gives the phrase "common sense" new meaning. Think about it, an army of undead men, women, children, friends, neighbors, lovers, and family members coming after you with no brain function, with no capability to feel anything, and wanting only to dine on your tanning-bed baked flesh and willing to do anything to get to it, doesn’t really seem like a winnable contest. You could run, you could fight them, but in the end, you’re probably going to give up and die, right?

Hasn't anything Romero's made or Max Brooks's written taught us something, anything? Of course we'll be no match for the undead. They're practically immortal if you forget the decapitation factor.

Admittedly, regardless, this is pretty ground breaking for the world of science and zombie fan alike. Finally, people are starting to get it. Sort of.

Canada: +1 point for showing an inkling of belief to the zombie fan fantasy.
BBC: +3 points for reporting such a discovery.
World: -500 points for still not listening.

The best thing for us to do when this becomes our reality is to do what they say and "hit them hard and hit them often." If they're right, it could be our only chance.

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  • Matt 5 years ago

    If a zombie attack did happen humans would never survive because for the first few days, whislt nobody really knows what is happening your not going to decapitate somebody for looking a bit pale. Just like all the films people would start fighting back once most of the population has already turned.

    Of course this would never happen though.