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Remarrying an Ex

Remarrying an ex-spouse can be a second chance at happiness, but more often than not, it is nothing more than repeating the same mistake that you've already made once. The writer of this article heard a saying once that went something like this: True ignorance is repeating the same action over and over, but expecting a different result. This pretty much says it all in regards to remarrying an ex-spouse to me. There are very few times that this will work out any better than it did the first time around.

Obviously, there were problems with the relationship. These problems were so extreme that they brought the marriage to a crashing halt, possibly leaving a couple of broken hearts in its wake. In fact, it is probably those same broken hearts that are making the decision to get back together out of loneliness and fear of a future without the person that, like it or not, they've gotten used to sharing a life with. Choices that are made out of fear and loneliness are never the best ones. Using your head over your heart will serve far better in these situations.

There are the minority of situations when a remarriage will work out, though, and maybe this is you and your former husband or wife. If you have both truly changed since the initial divorce, there is a chance that you have good reason to remarry one another. Still, you will need to really ask yourself if there has been a true change or if you are both just going through a temporary time of "best behavior".

Take some time to assess what the problems in the marriage were the first time around that led to the break-up. If these issues are still present, it is blindness to believe that things would end any differently the second time around. You are both setting yourselves up for failure. If you thought the divorce was hard the first time around, just wait until the sequel. It will only be worse. You have both had more hurt and developed more bitterness now. There have been more awful words said and more actions that screamed, "I don't care about your feelings!".

Another thing to consider is that marriage is a huge commitment. With all the vows, the promises, the good intentions, that you both had going into it the first time, there was a reason that it didn't work. Getting married again is another commitment and you are risking breaking another set of vows. This is a serious thing, so make sure that you are really re-committing and not just going in with the intention of "giving it one more shot". No one should enter into marriage, whether the first or second time, with the doorway of divorce open for a quick escape if things don't go as planned.

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