Dear Deborrah:
My boyfriend and I both come from different religions. The differences in our religious beliefs and customs were really highlighted during the recent holiday season.
We've been discussing plans to get married, and we'd both like to have a family. He does not want me to convert, but I am in a dilemma regarding what our kids will follow. I also don't know how to tell our parents. I cannot marry someone else to solve the problem. I remain depressed often. Please advise.
Signed,
Depressed
Dear Depressed:
Oh my goodness lady. Why haven't the two of you sat down and discussed this matter? There is no reason for you to be obsessing over something easily discussed and decided.
I also think if you are not mature enough to make a decision about your life without worrying about what other people think about it, you have no business talking about marriage. If you cannot find the words to discuss the decisions you make for YOUR life with your family like adults, you two have no business talking about marriage.
Neither of you are mature enough to handle such a basic nothing conflict with your own family, then to me you certainly aren't mature enough to handle the questions that may arise from the outside world.
To my way of thinking the best approach is for parents to expose their children to many different religious beliefs and customs, and let them choose what they wan to be (if anything), when they are mature.
Follow a blend of customs in your home that respects traditions from both sides of the family. Celebrate all religious holidays for both religions with your children! As a couple and a family, you have every right to make your own way in life and love. Don't think you have to follow everyone else's mandates for your life.
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